Comeback

~ Chapter 42 ~

Chapter 42
Monday October 31st
Lennon's POV

The last week or so since the night my parents came over has been a rollercoaster. I've had so much on my mind since that day and everything feels 10x more draining than it usually does.

First there's Theo, who seemed affected by what he saw for a couple of days. The next morning when he woke up his inquisitive brain began begging me for answers to his questions, and I was at a loss on how to answer most of them. Besides his constant questions, he was back to being quiet, it's like he shut down. Which honestly made me hurt because I felt like we were slowly working towards a good place for Theo, and now it got set back again.

Then I found myself starting to worry about Harry. I texted him a few times to check in on him and apologize once again for their behavior, but I only received half effort responses which is definitely not how he responds to me. I guess similarly to Theo, he shut down as well, a behavior I am all too familiar with from when we used to be together. I guess I've just been worried that my dad's picking on him would tempt him to do the thing I wish he wouldn't. Maybe he just needs a bit more time, but it's hard for me to tell with him. I also didn't want to try and dig around in his life considering I wanted the two of us to keep that separate, but I also found myself wanting to make sure he was okay.

Last on the priority list was myself. I felt a little silly feeling myself getting in my head about the entire fight considering most of the harshness was aimed at Harry. It shouldn't hurt me as much as it does, since I didn't get the brunt of it. However, that one comment my mom made was like a stab wound. It wasn't even behind my back, she says things like that straight to my face... I was hoping they would've taken my words with meaning and actually think about what they were saying and how they were acting, but that was completely thrown out the window. Implying I ran back to Harry's arms because my fiancé died... I didn't think anything could hurt worse than when she told me to get over his death.

It's been complete radio silence from my mom, which I'm grateful for. At this time I truly have nothing to say to her, and I don't know if I can forgive and forget this one like I have in the past. My dad on the other hand has been texting and calling me non-stop, all of which have gone unanswered. I can't find it within myself to respond to him right now, and I don't know how I feel. My dad and I have always had a good relationship, and his first instinct is to protect me. That's a feeling I'm so familiar with because I know I would go to any length for my kids. However, his execution was just awful and outright disrespectful and that's what I can't stand for. To top it off, my 4 year old literally witnessed him punching Harry in the face and it would be absurd for me to move on this quickly.

The twins were also teething which of course meant they were fussier than their normal amount, and sleeping less. All around it's just been an exhausting week and a half and I just can't fathom how this is my life sometimes.

Today is Halloween and I wish I could genuinely be more excited for it. I've spent the entire day working as I usually do on Mondays, except the holiday means we've been treating more people than average. The amount of people who severe their fingers trying to do pumpkin carving is alarming.

Halloween is, or was, Hudson's favorite holiday.

As painful as the added reminder of him is, I've been trying my hardest to push through it for the kids. Yesterday, Harry had come over and we all decorated pumpkins. I personally refused to carve a pumpkin because that just sounds awful to me, but Harry wanted to do it with Theo. The two of them scooped out the seeds together and Harry cut out a design that Theo had picked. It was alright, but Harry should probably stick to acting if you ask me.

Because I'm the mom who would rather paint than carve, we also all painted a pumpkin. I ended up making my pumpkin have a giant emoji face, and Harry opted to cover his in different pastel colored flowers. We also had the twins make one as well by sticking their footprints onto one, which was super cute. Lastly, Theo's was a blob of different colors that he named "Mr. Pumpkin" and displayed on the front step of the house.