Note : Deez nuts.
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"Who does she think I am?.. I am Phobio the Black Leopard Fang!" Our loveable, most punch-able character introduced to us in this story so far, Phobio, says with anger.
"She's Demon Lord Milim. You know she's an unstoppable force. Even Lord Carrion Couldn't..-" One of phobio's men says. Let's call him.. Phobio men 1.
"You idiot! Lord Carrion wouldn't have suffered an injustice like this. I'm just inexperienced..." Phobio says before looking down at the campfire in front of him.
"...But my pride won't let me return home without any results to show for it." Phobio.
"..."
"...Those Monsters went ahead and built themselves a city. Even though everyone called them lower species, their techniques are far more advanced than even our own.." Phobio.
"Agreed. Rather than taking them over, Eurazania might be better served by opening relations." Phobio men 1.
"That's right.. Even if Demon Lord Milim hadn't been there, my attitude was wrong. Even if we had completely dominated them, they still wouldn't even trust us... But it's too late now." Phobio.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"This humiliation won't disappear even after my wounds heal... If I can do it without making a mess for Lord Carrion, I want to get revenge somehow." Phobio.
"You say that, but there's no way for you to realistically..." Phobio men 1.
"I know already! My head tells me it's impossible..." Phobio.
"..."
"...But there's no reasoning with my feelings." Phobio says as he breaks a stick in half.
Suddenly...
"Hooo hoo hoo hoo hoo!" ???.
"Who goes there?!" Phobio men 1.
"My, oh my, those frustrating feelings! I myself understand them all too well!" A... largely sized... clown says.
"Well met, everyone! My name is Footman!" The clown says as he bows.
"Footman?" Phobio.
"A Member of the Moderate Clown Troupe, I am also known as the Angry Clown! Pleased to make your acquaintance." Footman.
"..."
"Please relax a little! I'm Tear and I'm not your enemy!" A wild tear says, appearing out of nowhere.
I think we all know where this manipulation is going, so let's skip ahead, shall we?
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[POV CHANGE!]
"..how long have I been asleep?" clown.
"..."
"Hello?.. oh right, you said you'd sleep, oh well, I'm naming you asshat-"
{Note 665 : "Bitch."}
"Love you too. Anyways, any events that happened?"
{Note 665 : "I have no fucking clue, I just woke up."}
"Huh, I'll ask nice then. Hey!"
{Nice : "Nothing much happened besides the guildmaster, Fuzzy- I mean Fuze having arrived here today."}
"I see... wait, Fuzzy is here?"
With that, clown rushed to see his superior (in terms of guild authority).
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"Huh, so you did decide to use time in your day to come here." clown.
Clown looks around the room to see the 3 people he travelled with before along with the now Late Shizue, Fuzzy aka Fuze the the guildmaster, and... some extras he has no idea of.
"Cl- clown..." Fuze.
"Mm?" clown.
"Nothing.." Fuze.
"So why you here?" Clown say as he sits next to Milim, who anyone would mistake as a harmless child, but in the reality of things, she can hand your ass to you.
"We are-" Fuze.
"Have both the Falmuth and Blumund Kingdoms come here to investigate us or something? Rimuru/slime asks for confirmation.
"..well, we are-" Fuze.
"Hey! Hold on, why is this slime acting like such a bigshot, also, what kind of alias is Clown and what's with the mask? What's the deal here? Why are you all okay with this?" The random who I don't even know starts speaking up... actually, he looks like someone I'd beat up.
"..You are Insulting Great Rimuru." Shion/purple kijin.
"Hey.. Youm, you shouldn't go insulting clown like th-" Fuze says, in fear of what the powerful being known as clown might do to this poor soul.
"Not sure why you're defending this guy, he looks stupid" Youm.
"To insult Great Rimuru and the Savior Clown.." Shion says, seething a bit with rage, though you can't tell from a glance. Also, why only now do you mention the fact he insulted me? Also what kind of name is Youm?
"Shut up, Tits!" Youm.
Oops! A blunder on your part Sir Youm, I pray your passage to the afterlife is calming, not.
Suddenly, a giant ass claymore still in it's sheath hit his dumbass head, knocking him to kiss the table. I was tempted to punch him, so I didn't...
"Boss!"
"Youm!"
"Boss!"
"H-hey..." Rimuru.
"....Ah!- I'm sorry!" Shion says, bowing.
Then his... I'm gonna assume, henchmen healed him with magic and he rises up.
"Sorry for what Shion di-" Rimuru.
...Instead I just decided to hit him with my sword sheath as well.
"Boss!"
"Youm!"
"Boss!"
"Hey Fuze, who is this guy? Acting like some kind of bigshot?" Clown says in a mocking tone.
"He- he's.." Fuze.
"No one important? sigh..." Clown says with a mocking sigh.
"I- I'm sorry for them, Shion has trouble restraining herself and clown basically does whatever he wants... mostly with violence." Rimuru says, basically describing me.
"That's mean, I'm known for my patience!" Shion states.
"Yeah, I'm also known to be a very very very non-violent individual... actually nevermi-" Clown says, sitting in a thinking position before getting cut off.
"Ha ha ha! You both got a long way to go before you become as patient and non-violent as me! You should try being as open-minded as me! Milim proudly butts in. How Ironic.
"...We want to be on good terms with humans. I hope we can all trade and network with you, someday." Rimuru puts the conversation back on track.
"Trade?" Fuze.
"Yeah, we've actually already entered a diplomatic relationship with the Dwarven Kingdom already." Rimuru states, as If it wasn't a big deal.
"W- With Dwargon!?" Fuze exclaimed. Clearly it was a big deal.
"I think passing through this land would be more convenient for your merchants, what do you think?" Rimuru activates business mode.
"Now hold on a minute- You're saying Dwargon reco-" Fuze.
"Does he really to to say it twice Fuzzy?" Clown cuts him off.
Suddenly, the door opens, revealing...?
"...who is he again?" Clown whispers to Milim.
"...Another slave of bestie, obviously!" Milim whispers back to clown.
"Hmm.. Yes, that makes sense, thank you Milim." Clown whispers yet again to Milim.
"Hehe, you're welcome." Milim smiles.
"There is indeed no need to say it twice for I can vouch for that." A slave says.
"M- Minister Vesta!?"
...ok, so not a slave?
"sigh, Former Minister." Vesta/previously labelled slave.
"What is a man of your standing doing here?" Fuze.
"It's good to see you again, Fuze." Vesta.
Well, he just ignored the question. What is a sla- a man of his standing doing here again? Oh right, because he's a sla- an ally of Rimuru most likely.
"What Great Rimuru says is true." Vesta bows before continuing. "King Gazel and Great Rimuru have entered into a treaty."
"..Are you convinced now?" Rimuru.
A few people nod but it's pretty clear the whole room was convinced.
"W- well... If that is the case we aren't opposed to operating with you..." Fuze then continues. "But, I'll need to see undeniable proof that you are, indeed, an ally of humans."
"I'm fine with that, I'll permit you to stay here. We want you to understand that we aren't a threat." Rimuru smoothly responds back with the power of business mode.
And with that, the meeting came to an end.
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(Author here, If you watched the anime or read the manga then I'm sure you know this is supposed to be where Youm becomes the 'Champion that defeated the Orc Lord', but since Clown took that spot early on, this may or may not be where the canon divergence starts. Good luck to me writing something new-)
(Also, I'm splitting this into like 3 or 4 parts-)
(Anddddd next chapter is coming out next week....or next year)
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That Time A Clown Decided To Ruin The Storyline.
FanfictionI DON'T OWN THE ART YOU DUMBA- (If I Decide To Draw The Cover, Expect Stickman.) The beautiful art that you see on the cover was made by @beewineline on Twitter. Ahem... Anyways, Clown Pierce (Sh*t I Got Goosebumps again), The Deadliest Assassin, Ha...
