Then and now

Chapter 3: Amira's POV

I don't know what to do with myself. Normally, if I'm tired or bored I would just sleep. But I can't sleep. I have blocked all light from coming into my room, turned on my fan, turned off my fan, had a shower, drank hot tea, took a couple sleeping pills. 

I can't sleep no matter what. Sometimes I like it when I can't sleep, but I use sleeping as an escape. It's almost like being dead but without dying. 

My mind is too preoccupied to sleep. I check the time on my phone for it to read 2:30AM. I decide to just go across to the park and hope for the best. In my town it is very rare for people to be out at this hour, so I'm not worried about people seeing me and telling my dad. Not that he would care. 

I open my window and climb out onto my roof, climbing down onto the grass. 

I lay down on the net swing simply swinging back and forth for a while. I don't flinch or get up when I hear footsteps coming towards me. I know that I should be worried. I should be checking who it is and probably going back home. I mean, who is out at 2:30 AM except for druggies?

But unfortunately, I just don't care enough to leave the peaceful space I am in now. I don't respond when I hear a voice not far from me. I'm not even alert enough to make out who it is. 

I feel a slight sense of relief though when a girl comes into my view. I finally sit up just to see a girl with dark, curly hair standing in front of me. She is holding a bottle of vodka in her left hand and a vape in her right. She takes a swig of the bottle before speaking.

"I was just asking if you were okay. And if you wanted some company." She grins and I stare at her blankly. 

"Can I have a drink?" I ask, and she laughs before handing me the bottle. I gulp some of it down in one go and she sits down next to me. It is such a relief to have a drink because I haven't had one in days. My dad locked the liquor cabinet once he found out that I had taken vodka from it. 

"What brings you here at 2 AM in the morning?" Her voice is soothing, and her presence is comforting. I haven't had a girl be normal to me in a while since they all found out. It is refreshing to feel so comfortable around someone, even a stranger.

"Couldn't sleep. Thinking too much. You?" I keep my answer brief becuase I don't want to give away too much.  She lays down on the net swing while I'm still on the edge, not taking the vodka back so I take another sip. 

"Same. Plus I like staying up. Gives me a break from my family." 

"Yeah. My dad barely talks to me, so I don't really have anyone that I need a break from." I find myself just spilling my feelings out to her. 

"Damn. I'm sorry girl. Your dad sounds like an asshole," She quickly adds, "No offense." 

I just chuckle, "No, he is an asshole." She sits up energetically and smiles at me. Her hair is all messed up and wild and her eyes are red- probably from weed or another drug. 

"What's your name?" I smile softly at her and give the vodka bottle back. 

"Norah. You?" She drinks from the bottle right after like she's feigning for it. 

"Amira."

"What's your story, Amira?" She sighs. 

I consider telling her my full past, but I decide not to. I would rather her be the only person that I'm friends with who doesn't know about my past. Except for Asher of course. I don't want either of them to treat me differently like everyone else has. 

"Rough past I guess with an ex. Dad doesn't really care about me. Don't have many friends." I don't elaborate and keep my tone as neutral as possible. 

"I'm sorry. But you have one more friend now. Are you still in highschool?"

I smile and nod at her. 

"What about you? What's your story?" I am more confident right now than I have been in years. I don't know if that is because of the vodka, the sleeping pills, or the fact that it is 3 AM and this girl is someone who I have never met and may never see again. Probably both. 

"Well, my Dad and older brother are both in jail for robbery. So it's just me and my mom. I live here with her while I save up to go to Uni." 

"Jail? That's horrible." 

She shrugs, "They were both abusive assholes, so my mom and I are sort of glad they are gone. She got full custody of me when I was 15 and we haven't looked back."

I find myself admiring her, thinking about how easy my life is compared to her. The thought just makes the sinking feeling in my gut worse. 

Norah and I talk for hours about random things. We talk about school, complain about our family, talk about drugs, parties, TV shows, you name it. It is nice to finally have a female friend who is really a girls girl.  

We end up splitting ways at about 5 AM and we exchange numbers. 

I walk back to my house with a new sense of belonging. I haven't felt that in much too long. 

I am able to sleep after I take 2 more sleeping pills.