Then and now

Chapter 17: Amiras POV

When I heard that ding coming from my phone in Asher's hand, I already knew what it was.

I already knew what it said.

And in that second, I knew that I couldn't go back to my house. I also knew that I have to tell Asher the truth. Or at least some of the truth.

"I think he's waiting for me at my house." I try to keep my face as blank as possible and keep from stuttering, already embarrassed from my breakdown earlier.

"Well then, you aren't going home. Alone anyways."

What Asher is saying makes sense. I know it is the safest option for me, but I still want to tell him that it's okay and that I will go home myself. That I will be fine.

But I know that isn't true.

I know Logan.

So I agree to what Asher is saying by nodding.

It's a new feeling having someone care for me as much as Asher seems to. I don't deserve him. 

Every time I'm around him, it's like a breath of fresh air. Almost like everyone else is toxic and infected, but Asher is the only person who is pure. His heart is full and genuine. That is hard to find in this day and age. 

I've met so many horrible guys, most connected to Logan that weren't good people. I remember thinking I deserved it. Deserved to be treated like shit. And I still think, just a little bit that I don't deserve to be happy. But that is just Logans voice in my head that won't ever really leave. I just have to learn to live with it. 

Though I am still not letting myself trust him completely, Asher has resorted my faith in men. I no longer think that every single guy is violent and selfish. 

But that might just be the thing that is scaring me the most. I am getting my hopes up about Asher, and the more they go up the harder it will hurt if he breaks my trust. 

Even now, as Asher is not breaking eye contact and looking into my eyes, there is nothing on his face except concern and sympathy. 

It's the little things he does. The way that he is facing me and close enough that I can feel his comfort, but not too close that I'm uncomfortable. How he waits for me to initiate any form of physical contact because he has noticed that I don't like it sometimes. 

Without saying another word, he gets up and grabs his keys from his desk. 

He puts his hand out to me, not looking away from my face. 

"You don't have to take it, it's okay." Asher gives me a small smile and his voice is very gentle. It makes me want to melt. 

Despite what my anxiety is telling me, I take his hand and get up from his bed. He tries to hide a smile and that makes me smile. 

Once we get in the car, he puts on a song that I recognise from the first note. And I don't remember the name, but I know that I would be able to recite each lyric from muscle memory.

Nostalgia passes over me and Asher starts to sing, and he is so bad at singing that I laugh. 

This song used to play constantly whenever we were together. We found it when we were about 7 on YouTube kids, and until he left we used to sing it all the time together. Anytime one of us were sad or upset the other would play this. 

It was a comfort that can't be replicated and the fact that he remembered makes me emotional. 

He looks over at me and continues singing, clearly glad that I am laughing. 

And before I know it I am singing to without a care in the world. 

The windows are down and the town is so quiet that people can probably hear our horrible singing from their houses, but neither of us care. 

I don't think about Logan or my dad or my horrible singing. I just keep singing, and tell myself to just let things go for a little bit. 

Asher is just yelling at this point and I'm laughing harder than I have since I saw him when I was 13. 

The song ends just as we get to my house and he pulls into the drive way. 

My guard is immediately up, my chill aura from a second ago vanished when I crash back into reality. 

I make no move to get out of the car. 

I don't move my eyes from where they are trained on the front door of my house. 

I feel Ashers hand on mine and I turn to look at him. 

"It's okay. There aren't any cars here Mira." I slowly look behind me and see no other cars, from what I can see. 

"You're going to come in with me though, right?" Asher looks offended that I even asked that and doesn't waste a second before answering with no hesitation. 

"Of course." 

He gets out of the car and does a cute little jog around to my side, where he opens the door for me and I step out of the car with shaky hands. 

He leads the way to the door and I grab the spare key from under the plant pot next to the door. 

Once we get inside I head for my room and grab a bag, not taking care with what I pack. I stuff random things in the bag and don't even look at my makeup vanity. 

I get a toothbrush, toothpaste, some moisturiser, clothes and my drink bottle in a record time of 2 minutes while Asher looks around my room. 

I feel stressed and disoriented, like Logan is here, watching me. I know that's irrational but I can't help thinking like that. 

I flop down onto the bed and put my arms over my eyes, sighing. 

I feel a weight drop down next to me and I roll over to look at Asher. 

"Your room has barely changed since we were kids," Asher has a smirk on his face. 

I haven't overly changed my room in the 4 and a half years since he left. Partly because I don't mind the way my room is.

"Yeah. It never really occurred to me. Changing my room would be expensive too." I say that knowing full well my father would have payed for anything I wanted, but I never liked asking him for things. I didn't want him to think that buying me things makes up for not being present in my life. 

"I like your room the way it is. It's comforting to be back in this room," Our faces are dangerously close, so close that I can feel his warm breath on my face as he talks. 

"I wish you could have moved back next door, into your old house. I hate the new neighbours." I say new knowing that they have been there for almost 5 years. The day he left. 

"How come?" He asks. 

"They aren't you." It comes out of my mouth before I can think about it, and it seems to surprise him. I try to think of something to say that gets rid of the sudden tenseness of the room. 

"Yeah, well I don't like my neighbours either. Because they aren't you." I chuckle at his attempt to save me from my embarrassment. 

I groan and roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling. 

I can still feel his eyes on the side of my face, and I don't mind him looking at me for some reason. It even gives me a weird feeling in my stomach that I haven't felt in a hot minute. 

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A/N

NOT EDITED!

Hey lovelies! Haven't updated in a while, so sorry! I got logged out and couldn't figure out how to log back in, but im back! Hope you enjoy this chapter, I think we got a feel of Asher and Amira's relo!