My world

chapter 16

Gulf pov

I was surrounded by silence. But it was not suffocating me. It made my heart calm. They all went to their own places but I was still stuck in those moments which happened an hour ago in my room.

My heart was still beating fast and I call still feel the heat that my face is producing due to my blushing. I can still feel the warm embrace of Mew.

Did I Just said yes for Mew to pursue me ?

I think, like Mild said, I need to face all my insecurities now. I need to make mae agree as the way I am.

I had ran away from my self all this long. Now I need to accept myself for who I am.

There's some one who said that if we not find some one to Love us then we can't love ourselves.

I think now ,I found that person. Mew made me realise that loving myself and respecting myself is the most important thing.

I need to thank Mild to light my fuse in a fuse less brain.

I think I need to start loving myself.

I need to start loving myself beyond my insecurities, beyond the pretentious me who built walls and faked my true self.

I don't know from when I started feeling insecure about myself. I think from the day mae started threatening me or from the day she started beating me or from the day I was dragged away from my dreams.

I think I started building walls just to protect myself but after meeting him, I forgot that I had built walls around my true identity taller than China walls.

They just disappeared like a dust particles in air or like the darkness when Sun rays hit the earth.

I would not regret breaking my walls when I am with him. These would be with those few things I would not regret in my life, like be friending with charter box mild and allowing myself to develop feelings for new and welcoming Prem and Boun in my life.

I would thank Mew for coming into my life. Because of him I learnt how would be the feeling of love .

Until I met Mew, I hadn't developed a tiniest feeling on anyone. I never felt an pull towards anyone.

But I felt an magnetic attraction between him and me. I always had an urge to hold him, an urge to cup his face just like how he would do to me when I feel lonely , an urge to hug him, an urge to explore every curve and inch of his face with my lips and an urge to just eat his lips.

I think i would laugh my ass out when I imagine the reaction of my twenty years old self about my wild thoughts about Mew.

But this feeling towards him is unexplainable. I can't find words to describe it and I don't know which language on earth would be perfect enough to make him understand how I felt about him.

I thought I was just a rock who doesn't feel anything about anybody. I was just breathing, eating and living. But Mew made feel like human. A human who can feel love.

I am happy that I can feel love and I can actually love someone. It doesn't matter what they are and who they are. The feeling of being in love and being loved is the best feeling I ever had.

It doesn't matter if they are opposite gender or Same. Love Is Love Right !

I don't know why my mother felt disgusted of me when she found that a boy had propose to me. Maybe she felt concerned about her son that if he love same sex person then the society would make fun of him or maybe the thought I am not having a child and not giving a grand child to them.