Killer

Chapter 33: Broken Hearts

Lorde — Liability

The night of the memorial found its way to an end. Jace drove us home after everyone that was surrounded by the bonfire spoke and shared their fond memories of Rachel. The group went inside Charlie's house and ordered pizza once it got chilly outside. I noticed how Jace sparked a conversation with Charlie as the two went outside, apart from everyone else, to have a private chat of their own. I kept my distance from Tre to prevent another chaotic situation that would cause Jace to become jealous. I tried to brush everything off like I always did, but it was getting to the point where I couldn't do it anymore.

I could hear Jace shuffling the radio in his car on the way home as I sat in the passenger seat, completely mute. I felt my throat becoming itchy and my eyes burning. I started to just break down and cry.

"Hey, baby," Jace pulled into his driveway and looked over at me. "What's wrong?"

"Jace..." I whined, starting to shake all over. His face in the half-lit darkness was filled with concern I didn't deserve. He leaned over and pulled me in, despite the console wedging into our sweet embrace I should resist for once. His softness was speaking to me. I pulled back and choked out the words. "I-I can't do this anymore."

A frown creased Jace's face. He sat back in his driver's seat—on edge this time—relaxing his hands on the steering wheel as he gazed at me intently. "What are you talking about, Sunny? What do you mean you can't do this anymore?"

"Like..." I said, looking down at my lap and moving my hair over my shoulder. My throat was dry as dust. "I can't be with you. It's not good for us." The words just slipped out. "I am sorry."

I could feel Jace's heavy eyes on me as he barked out a short laugh. "Are you fucking serious?"

I nodded before hearing some sniffing that wasn't my own.

"Sunny, please tell me it's a joke. You're joking with me? Right?" Jace started to cry, as it was almost very strange. It was like witnessing a horse shitting out gold, something I never thought would happen. I was almost tempted to tell him about Tre—only the fact that I was a horrible person for making him feel this way—but I didn't know why my feelings for him disappeared like this.

"I'm not joking, Jace," I said, shaking my head.

God, my heart was hammering so hard inside my chest that I didn't want to be alive at this very moment. It could escape out of my chest just now.

"Why? Please tell me why?" Tears slid down Jace's cheeks and dripped onto the fabric of his hoodie.

"Because of your sudden mood swings and temper," I answered flatly. I then hesitated to say the next few words, wondering if there was another way to let him down as softly as it was. "It's too much for me to keep up with. There's already enough shit going on. It's just...exhausting."

"No." Jace was crying so hard that it made me not get the words out.

"I'm so sorry, Jace," I finally found the strength to say. "There's nothing there for us anymore."

Jace didn't say anything for five minutes, resting his forehead against his steering wheel so that I couldn't see his teary face. Instead, I looked out the window and pretended to admire two squirrels running through the grass. His voice was icy cold when he finally spoke. "You don't love me. I don't think you ever did."

"But-But I do love you," I kind of lied, not really meaning it entirely. I would like him as a friend after moving past this. All of a sudden, I watched as Jace slowly lifted his head up and stared at me.

"Get out!" He hollered at me, which caused a startled cry to release from my mouth. "I don't ever want to see you again."

"Jace..." I sobbed his name, staring at his face. It was a shade of red from the warm tears and rage. He ignored me as I got out of his car. Once I did, he quickly exited out of his driveway.

I wasn't sure how I managed to head to my bedroom, nevermind feeling a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders. Once I was alone in my very own space, I crumbled down on the floor and cried to myself for what felt like hours about what happened with Jace and how I broke up with him. I didn't know if I was ever going to do that; I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue to solve the murder tape investigation since feelings got very involved, and so on. I was so tired of all of this.

I scrambled through my bag to find my phone. There was no way I was going to cry over how I broke Jace's heart and mine as well. I wanted to call the only person I could trust at this point, and it was Tre, who I really wanted to be with since I knew I deserved someone better. I needed to vent to him. When the other line beeped softly and I heard his voice, I quickly explained everything to him over the phone. He reassured me not to stress and cry about someone who made me feel bad about myself, promising me he would do whatever he could to help take my mind out of this state.

"I knew it would go like that with him." My mouth dropped when Tre randomly insisted. "Let's take a trip out of this shitty town, just me and you."