CHAPTER FIVE

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Songs for the chapter:
Linger — The Cranberries
She's So High — Sixpence None the Richer

Songs for the chapter:Linger — The Cranberries She's So High — Sixpence None the Richer

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📍 Dover to Dunkirk— 2020

Mum!

I...I'm crazy right? Oh please tell me I'm insane! I know you won't say it, I know you are kicking your feet in joy up there knowing that I'm doing this. What's insane is, you always used to warn me, "Nona knows all, Nona sees all"....how am I supposed to get through this trip knowing that?! She's going to find out and then what?! What if she asks me to come back? What then?

I'm getting really ahead of myself, I know. I know she might not find out. I know this may not be completely insane....but I just.

I don't. Do. This. This is not me.

I hate that I hear Harry's voice in my head already...it's slightly laughable. "It's your mum's trip, what would she do?"

I'm so flustered, mum! My hand is literally shaking as I write this. It's like, I have seven different emotions coursing through me. I'm doing this for you, the way you would have done it, but I'm terrified because I'm not you.

I'm not brave and quick on my feet. I don't have the same sense of adventure.

What if I back out? What if I get so scared I never make it to Italy.

"What if you don't, Lina? That's always the real question?" Is what you would say.

I'm rambling even in my writing and I wish you were here for that soft yank of the hair to bring me back to reality.

Well, I must go to bed then. Harry is an earlier riser, which should clearly be another MAJOR RED FLAG, don't you think?

No, you don't. I know you don't.

I miss you so much.

Yours,
Lina

Yours,Lina

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