Paper Roses: Long Forgotten but kept Hidden (Completed)

Martyr

Chapter 5

One day, my friends invited me to hang out at the Karaoke House or we preferred to call it Videoke House.

Just near our place. It was 5 pesos per song before. Then later on two songs for 5 pesos until it is not famous anymore.

We all using DVD and sound systems today. Then there's a Bluetooth speaker too that can connect to the internet and let you sing.

So this fun Videoke is very rare nowadays. And I missed these days. Where The world wasn't turned upside down.

Where we are all innocent and having fun. But those days ended and I'm worried for the future of my kids. But God is good, He will always be there. And will save our future generations.

The new normal as of today, is very far from normal.

I sing a song titled "Everything I own" by Bread.

While singing, I saw Giovanni appear! Hidden at the left-side corner. Yeah even if I can only see his back or his hair. I will always recognize him.

"The eyes are blind but the heart will always see."

I excused myself and went outside to talk to him.

We went to our same hidden dating place where no one else knew.

I looked at him, he seemed drunk. I missed him so much but I am controlling myself not to touch him again.

He called me with my nickname but I didn't answer.

I created an endearment for both of us. I will call him Crunchy then I am his Sweety.

It was so sweet that it became bitter at the end.

Since studying I will always save my money for every special occasion. Like His Birthday, Christmas, Valentine's, or any Holidays that is meant to be celebrated.

I created hundreds of poems and letters for him that are written on a fragrance stationery paper.

And I always bought a Music Birthday card which is very well known during this time. When you open the card Birthday music will play.

And that is all especially for him. Come to think of it. Both of us didn't dare to break up. He has tons of Girlfriends but he never told me that we should break up and I don't dare to break up with him. My mouth won't open and my heart will not accept.

"I'm sorry, your boyfriend is a total asshole." That's what he said then hold my hand.

Well, I only eat what I said. But at least his the one who grabbed my hand.

I still didn't move. He said sorry once again. And grab me to sit down with him.

He hugged me and said he missed me. And I missed him too like crazy. But still, I don't know where I stand!

What Am I in His Life? Am I important? Or just for fun? I don't know! I don't know! (How I wished he let me know during this time but I guess it's our fate that we are not meant to be.)

When It comes to him. I always give in. My heart will always dominate over my brain. That's why my friends will always call me a Martyr. Martyr for love without any assurance.

Martyr for the person that always broke my heart. But he is the one who can heal my broken heart too. Without him, I cannot survive.

We are back in each other's arms again. And I'm still working so we did not meet all the time unlike before.

I still knew that he was still with his girlfriends. But I didn't mind it at all. Whenever we met. He is mine.

That's what I always put on my mind.

One day I was very shocked by his news. A nuclear bomb news to be exact.

He wanted to stow away! Magtanan! That's the Filipino term. I don't know what's gotten into him that he has decided to leave with me.

I know that he is having a Family problem. But I don't like to touch his private life and I'm very young during this time.

While he is at the legal age to get married. But I cannot marry! I'm very young and afraid.

He said we would live in the hometown of her Mother in Leyte. He wanted to marry me immediately but thinking of living, while I was still young was not acceptable to me.

I wanted to walk down the aisle not just to stow away without saying goodbye to my Mom and relatives. I thought that it was not legal that I was still a Mistress in this situation so I declined and said no. (Well until now I am still not legally married, but instead accused of being a Mistress, what a life. Just wondering if I accepted his offer would I be happy? Who knows....)

I can see the sadness in his eyes. Just what is his problem? He will not share it with me! He will not tell me.

Some said that he was not a good influence on me. Because he drinks, he smokes, he hangs out with his friends to God knows where.

But he didn't ever encourage me to do what was wrong! To smoke and drink. Never at all. But instead when we met. We have our world.

He is caring and passionate. He is very intelligent and that's what I like the most about him.

And now looking at the man that I love. Begging to stow away with him. Why not? Right? It's my chance to be with him! To own him. To be the only one in his eyes. It's my chance to throw away those girls around him.

But my mind won't cooperate. I still have so many doubts and what-ifs!

I just held his hand and told him that I could not. I can't do the wrong. I still don't have the courage for it.

He just looked me in the eyes and called me.

"King...." That's my nickname.

So very far away from my real name. And only a few friends of mine know my nickname.

We did not talk about it at all. And he never mentioned it again.

We still meet once in a while if I'm off at work.

Then one day I heard him confessing to my Aunt that he was in love with a girl...

Again?....

Another Girlfriend?

Another heartache of mine...

Will my heart still carry the heartbreak?