In my last therapy session, Catherine suggested that my daddy issues had a hand in helping my abuser form a 'relationship' with me.
My dad lost interest in me after I hit puberty, and would only really talk to me when pointing out any of my flaws or issues about myself. This made me feel ashamed of myself, abandoned by my own parent and unloved. This continued for years before my SA and grooming, and still currently continues.
Because my dad has made me feel unloved, the idea of someone actually being interested in me and affection towards me, blinded me to the fact that what my abuser did was wrong. I knew I felt uncomfortable with it, but I was young and didn't know how to phrase it.
I never enjoyed what Tali did to me, but I enjoyed feeling loved and wanted, because me dad make me feel useless and as if he regretted my existence.
Catherine also suggested that this may have caused trauma bonds to other people on my life. Anyone who genuinely shows an interest in me or cares for me in ways my dad doesn't, makes me feel safe and loved, and I become extremely attached to them.
YOU ARE READING
give me back my girlhood
Non-FictionTrigger warning for sexual assault, grooming, mental health issues and suicidal thoughts/attempts This is my vent book about my SA trauma, I use this as one of my coping mechanisms, to help other victims and to bring awareness.
