A short guide on how to & how not to react to someone telling you about their SA.
DO NOT
Question it
Reacting by instantly questioning how, why, if it happened completely undmines everything the victim just said to you. This is extremely damaging and can lead to the victim blaming themselves, or questioning if they were actually SA'd.
Get angry
Getting angry for the victim, or at the perpetrator(s) doesn't solve anything, yes you can feel angry that it happened or that they choose to do they to the victim, but violence won't solve anything. Supporting the victim and letting them know they are safe is much more helpful.
Centre yourself
DO NOT MAKE THE SA ABOUT YOURSELF. Yes, it's okay you're upset, but making yourself the centre of attention when you're not the victim of this horribe thing that happened the victim, is as much use as a chocolate f*cking teapot. Stop being selfish and support the person who's opening up to you.
DO
"It wasn't your fault"
Letting the victim know that they're never at fault for what happened, their abus3r(s) are and always will be the people at fault for what happened, never the victim
"You didn't deserve this"
It doesn't matter whether the victim was wearing revealing clothes or if they 'led' their abus3r on, they didn't deserve it and they never will deserve it.
"I believe you"
Making it clear that you believe the victim, and that you always will be believed, is an amazing way to support a victim. Yes false accusations exist, but they are incredibly rare and victims deserve to be believed straight away, instead of their abus3r(s) being 'innocent untill proven guilty'
YOU ARE READING
give me back my girlhood
Non-FictionTrigger warning for sexual assault, grooming, mental health issues and suicidal thoughts/attempts This is my vent book about my SA trauma, I use this as one of my coping mechanisms, to help other victims and to bring awareness.
