After 7 years every single cell in our bodies will have replaced itself.
It has been 4 years 11 months and 23 days since your hands bruised my skin
7 years may come soon enough, but the memories won't disappear like the cells of my body. The scars won't fade, my memory will always remember that day
But one day my skin will never have been touched by you.
Somehow every single day there is a reminder of you, the flashbacks that haunt me.
Your name floating into therapy like a fucking balloon that I can't seem to pop
I keep telling myself that after 7 years I will feel better, but how is that true?
Because when I think of the word love, I don't think if me, I think of you.
Love was the word that was used when you betrayed me and my body.
Useable yes, but not loveable
I still view my body as something to be used.
Because when 7 years comes it will just be another day.
Because I know people who suffered 40 years ago, whose tears never went away
Because in 7 years time my skin will be new, but my memory will still hold you
You will have never touched that skin, but it will still an imprint.
But maybe if I just make it.
Maybe in 7 years, I will see myself as more loveable than useable.
YOU ARE READING
give me back my girlhood
Non-FictionTrigger warning for sexual assault, grooming, mental health issues and suicidal thoughts/attempts This is my vent book about my SA trauma, I use this as one of my coping mechanisms, to help other victims and to bring awareness.
