No Strings Attached

CHAPTER 35

I wake up as I feel someone stir beside me, looking down to see Anastasia snuggled into me.

I sigh as my head falls back, unable to understand what the fuck possessed me to ask her to stay the night.

Having sex with her again was bad enough, let alone falling asleep with her in my arms.

I look down at the peaceful girl, our legs intertwined as her arm lies lazily wrapped around my torso.

I try my best not to move too much, not wanting to wake her up as I assess what the best move is. I don't know what's wrong with me. Since when was I so anxious about something? Anxious that I'll fuck up. That I'll let my guard down too much around her.

She stirs again, shifting her position as her body stiffens, her eyebrows furrowing as her hand balls up in a fist.

She mumbles something I can't quite make out, saying it over and over again.

"Anastasia?" I ask quietly, confused at what's happening to her.

Her eyes snap open as her breathing comes out in short, ragged pants, blinking a few times before she looks up at me. Her eyes widen as she sees me and she bolts up, running a hand down her face as I sit up.

"Ana what's wrong?" I ask, placing a hand on her back as I begin to gently rub up and down, not saying anything as her body continues to tremble.

I begin to worry as her breathing becomes more rapid, raking her nails along her skin as her eyes widen in panic.

Unsure of what else to do, I draw her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her as her body sinks into mine.

"Just a dream sweetheart, it's ok," I say gently, not knowing what to say or how to help.

She nods her head, her hands returning to her hair as I continue rubbing her back. "Just focus on me Ana, I'm the only thing that's real right now," I say, trying my best to calm her down.

"It's not happening," she says in a shaky voice, and I'm not sure if she's talking to me or herself.

"No sweetheart," I murmur, "It's just me right now,"

She closes her eyes and nods, leaning against me as her breathing calms down. "This seems to happen a lot, maybe you should see someone?" I suggest, knowing that her answer will almost certainly be a determined 'no'.

She shakes her head, "I'm fine, it's nothing," she says, looking up at me, "Don't tell anyone though. Please," she says.

Not tell anyone? Fuck, I wanted to let the whole world know. Let them know that I was the one who comforted her, who held her in her fears. That she was mine to protect, and mine only. But if she wanted me to keep this seemingly dirty secret, then so be it.

"I won't," I say simply,

"Why the sudden change of attitude?" she suddenly asks me, shifting her body to face me.

Her eyes narrow as I pause, "I don't know what you're talking about," I say.

"Yes you do, what's changed?" she says, looking at me intently.

I do know what she means, but I honestly can't explain it, I don't know how, and I don't know why.

"I don't know, you're reading too much into it," I say bluntly, getting out of the bed and scratching the back of my neck.

Why am I being so awkward?

"I'll run you a bath, we need to get on the plane soon," I say, clearing my throat as I walk into the ensuite.