Not All Flowers Are Pretty {A Soukoku Hanahaki Disease Fanfiction}

Chapter 1

Atsushi POV

"Where the hell is Dazai?!" Kunikida shouts across the room, making me jump a bit. "He's already 45 minutes late!"

"M-maybe he's taking the day off, he could be sick?" I questioned. Dazai never took days off, even when he's sick. He wasn't a hard worker, to be honest, he pretty much just lounges around all day while Kunikida yells a numerous amount of times at him, telling him to actually do what he's being paid to. Even so, he comes to work everyday, he complained that staying home felt lonely and he insisted on annoying the ADA instead. Even on days when he was sick, he'd still show up, and spread his illnesses to everyone else in the agency. Which Kunikida also yelled at him for, consistently.

I check the clock on the wall. Kunikida was right, work had started over 45 minutes ago. Dazai was often late to work, despite constantly complaining about how lonely he was, longing for a woman to commit a double suicide with him, but he never came this late. And, of course, I started to think the worst. It was pretty pathetic that I always did this, stupid Atsushi, always getting worried over the slightest things. So, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed his number.

It rang.

Twice.

Three times.

Four.

And then it went to voicemail. Why wasn't he picking up?! Being super late to work was one thing for Dazai, but not picking up a call was certainly another. I rang Dazai again. No answer. So, I tried a third time. Third time's the charm, right? Yet he still didn't pick up. What had Dazai done this time?!

And then someone walked through the door. Of course, it was nothing to worry about. Dazai was fine. I had, once again, gotten completely panicked over the slightest thing.

"Atsushi, are you alright? Why'd you ring me four times?" Dazai was now standing over me, a concerned look on his face, waving his phone beside his head.

"I-I got worried..." I stuttered. "I was worried th-that something had ha-happened to you."

Dazai grinned. "You know I'd never let anything happen to me. I'd only want to die by my own hands, not by someone else's. And if I did finally find someone to do a double suicide with me, I'd let you know before I-"

"Can we please stop talking about suicide!"

"Sorry Atsushi, I know you're sensitive to such topics-"

"I'm not sensitive to suicidal topics, I just don't want you to die!"

Dazai grinned once again. "Aww, that's such a sweet thing to say to me, Atsushi~"

"Shut up." I mumbled.

Kunikida's desk chair turned around at that moment. He was going to yell at us for sure-

"Atsushi, Dazai, get to work. The workload's not gonna do itself! Dazai, you're already late so I suggest you get moving pretty damn fast!"

"Ughh, but Kunikida~ I don't wanna-"

"Now."

"Okay, okay, fine." And then Dazai was off...to the couch.

Kunikida sighs. "I will never grow to understand that man. Now you," He turns to face me. "Get back to work. And, on your way back to your desk, tell Dazai to get off his ass and actually do something productive."

"Sorry, Kunikida-san," I mumble.

I head back to my desk. I don't bother suggesting to Dazai that he should start working, because I know it won't work. He won't listen. He'll just smile and say that he simply doesn't want to. There was absolutely nothing that could convince him to do his work. Absolutely nothing. And the ADA can't fire him because he was one of our most intelligent and powerful members.

I sit down at my desk and continue with my work.

A few minutes later, I am interrupted, annoyingly. I can't concentrate on my work because 'Suicide Song' by Olurotops is blasting through the agency and, from where I'm sitting, I can see Kunikida becoming really pissed (and I don't use that word lightly). He looks like he might explode at any given moment. And, on top of the fact that it's literally blasting through the building, Dazai is singing along. No offence to him of course, but his singing is horrible (and again, I don't use that word lightly).

Kunikida stands up. "Dazai. Turn that off. Now."

Dazai glances at Kunikida before looking away, shrugging him off and continuing to sing.

"DAZAI!"

"Fine, I'll turn it down." Dazai finally replies.

The whole agency sighed and that sound itself became almost louder than 'Suicide Song' was before. And everything was fine until Dazai started singing again.

The whole agency groaned and complained. Work had only started an hour ago and everyone was already wanting to leave.

But then, the music suddenly stops and everyone sighs of relief again. Dazai turns his head in my direction. "Hey Atsushi, talking about suicide..." Singing about, but anyway. "Will you commit a double suicide with me?" Dazai pleads.

"I thought you said we weren't going to talk about suicide anymore" I huff.

"Yeah, but if you do it with me, then you won't have to miss me-"

"Atsushi will not be joining you in a double suicide, Dazai," Kunikida interrupts.

"But Kunikida~" Dazai pouts.

"No."

I'm pretty sure the whole agency wishes there were something, anything, that could make Dazai do his work, or, at least shut up. That would be a miracle. One can only hope it becomes reality.

Before long, 'Suicide Song' by Olurotops was blasting at full volume through the agency again. 

906 words