the quiet

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A YAWN escaped my lips, my head leaning against ivy's shoulder tiredly.

she fed me small bits of food as she talked to another group at our table, checking on me every now and then with a quick glance.

i blinked the sleepy tears out of my eyes, sitting up straight. i tiredly ran my eyes along the gryffindor table, hoping to find a good spot to zone out.

on my eye's journey, i met eyes with a boy. no, not just any boy, neville longbottom.

the corners of my mouth twitched up as i saw him look away, a blush spreading across his cheeks. how cute. and he seemed tall.

i propped an elbow on the table and leaned my head on my hand. i took my time to examine his features.

he was cute in person. cuter than i expected. i yawned again, and looked away.

my eyes found the wall that was set far behind the gryffindor table, green and silver outlining my gaze. it all fell into a grey-green-yellow-blue blur as i zoned out, my breathing slowing.

i hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. you could blame a certain hufflepuff prefect for that.

ivy pressed a fork with food on it to my lips, causing me to snap out from my trance. i opened my mouth, taking the food gratefully as i stared at ivy.

she really was beautiful. her smile was radiant, her eyes gleamed when she was talking. i thought that ivy was beautiful on the outside, turns out she's also beautiful on the inside.

i looked away once i saw some signs of her discomfort. i looked down at my empty plate and pushed it away. i stood up, brushing off my skirt reflexively and stepping out of the bench. my hands grazed ivy's shoulder, catching her attention and letting her know i was leaving.

she nodded briefly, her gaze a little concerned. i gave her a smile, and waved as i left the great hall.

the outside was darker than the great hall. the afternoon sun was clouded over, and there was a chill in the air, signifying the coming of winter.

i breathed in the cold air, feeling the freshness pierce my lungs as i walked to the courtyard.

i missed home.

it wasn't like hogwarts wasn't great, or that the people were bad, but it was so much. there were too many strangers, too many social interactions. too different from my quiet life before.

i needed a break.

the courtyard was relatively empty, only a few people loitering. there was a couple making out as well, and some kids smoking. i made my way over to an empty bench, falling down onto it with a soft sigh.

a chill seeped through my thin jacket. i internally cursed myself for not bringing my robe. i wrapped my arms around my torso.

"y/n l/n?" i looked up. blaise. a trail of smoke floated up from his hand, dropped at his waist. i glanced at the cigarette in his hand, a tight smile coming onto my face. i tried not to breath in the smoke.

"hi." i said, quickly, too quickly. shit. now he'd know something was up and then feel guilty for doing something natural. actually not that natural, and completely bad for you, but that didnt matter so much. i took a shallow breath of the cigarette air, biting the inside of my lip.

he frowned, but only slightly because he was not a very expressive person, and dropped the cigarette from his hand and stepped on it. i was grateful for this, but i also felt bad for inconveniencing him. it didn't seem like he'd even used it that much.

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