Beneath the surface [BTS JIMIN FF]

32

'Coming!'

It was barely evening, and my doorbell wouldn't stop going off. I figured it's either Yoongi or Jimin, and I was right. I opened the door while the bell was still going on, and a deja vu slapped me in the face.

Jimin. Drunk.

He was still pressing into the bell, not even noticing the door opened.

He was even worse than the last time. He reeked of alcohol and his clothes were a mess.

His shirt had so many random stains, and I couldn't even figure out what it was, while his trousers had a slight rip in his knee. That... he fell or hit himself. He was intently staring into the button, pressing it weakly but repeatedly, slurring something to himself.

'Jimin? What happened?'

His attention was finally on me even though I stood there for 20 seconds before he noticed me.

'Mine.' He wobbled in, hanging himself on me

Fuck, he's heavy. I struggled so much to keep us both up

'Mine!' He yelled drunkenly

'Yes, yes. I'm yours.' I grunted, trying to keep him on his feet

'Nu-uh.' He wobbled, shaking his head. 'Mine.' He patted his stomach

What the fuck is he on about?

'Come on. Let's sit down.' I somehow dragged him on the couch, and he fell on it like a dead body, but he was still awake

'The baby...' he mumbled

'What baby? What's going on in your head? Huh?' I gently brush his hair back, so it's out of his face

'Haeun... my baby...' he could barely keep his eyes open, but he kept talking. 'Haeun is having one.'

'She's pregnant?'

'Mhm. Mhm.' He nodded, or more like hung his head. 'Mine!' He suddenly screamed, making me jump a bit

Wait. His? What???

'Should have been mine!' He yelled again. 'It should have been me!'

I've never felt a heart breaking... until now.
All I could do was watch him cry, while my own tears washed down my face.

'She took my life... it could have been us.' He kept crying, smacking his hand on his heart as light, soft sobs escaped his lips

Even after all this time. Even after everything that we have gone through. Even though I love him with my whole heart, it's her. It's still her that he wants.

'My... Haeun... baby...' he mumbled the last words, and then his head fell low, as light breathing took place instead of his mumbling

He fell asleep.

It's as though I ate glass. Everything inside me feels like glass. Shattering.

The man in front of me is crying about another woman. Again.

The man I love almost drank himself to death with another woman's name spilling from his lips in his last moments of being awake.

Was everything a lie? All the things he said and did. All the times he touched me and kissed me, did he imagine it was her? Does he even care?

I'm stuck sitting here and crying silently, watching him sleep it all away.
I'm stuck here, faling apart, ripping at seams from the pain that's eating me alive.

So this is what it feels like. Feeling like you've died when you're still alive.

.
.
.
.
.