No One Will Ever Feel Like This Again (Peterick)

Confessions

Pete's point of view

I awkwardly shut the door behind me, sighing as I make my way into my bedroom. I get as close to the bed as I can and put all my weight on one leg while pushing up, shoving myself on the bed. I let out a long breath as I hold back tears. Why did I ever think any of this Patrick stuff was true. I knew he wasn't gay, all those times where I would think I see him blush, it was just me.

But deep down I still had that feeling that it could be true that he likes me. And it pisses me off. It's like when you stalk your favorite celebrity, you have that little thought in the back of your head that basically says to you: "he/she is real, you still have a chance!"

Yes, it's like that in a way.

I keep my stare up at the ceiling as I relive that whole moment after Liz and Patrick kiss outside the coffee shop.

"Where are you going?" Andy asks as I turn my wheelchair around, going toward the door.

"I'm going home."

"Why? Are you okay?" Joe asks. I ignore him and roll my way to the door, trying not to make eye contact as I move past Patrick.

"Pete, wait please don't go! She- I didn't-"

"Patrick, I just want to go home, okay? It's been a long couple of days for all of us," I cut him off, trying not to let my voice crack.

I don't look back as I push myself down the street. I hoped he wouldn't come after me. But at the same time I hoped he did.

I'm just stupid to get such high hopes for myself anyway. I mean, why would Patrick want to be with me anyway? He's amazing, talented, smart, good looking, he has it all. I'm nothing, especially compared to him.

I should just let it go and let him be himself. I can't control anything, he obviously isn't for me, so why put these scenarios in my head? Its been years of having this feeling, either I tell him and get it over with, or just let the feeling go.

This is too hard, I can't do this.

I can't do this anymore.

Patrick's point of view

I wanted to go after Pete so bad but Joe caught my arm before I could.

"Dude, what was that?" He asks, referring to Liz.

I turn and I had to hold back any tears I felt urge to come out.

"Liz kissed me! I didn't do anything!" I mentally hit myself for letting a tear slip.

"Dude, calm down. A-are you saying you.. like Pete? Like like him?" Joe asks, removing his hand from my shoulder.

"I-I don't know I-"

"Dude, it's okay," Andy cuts in.

"Yeah, yeah I do," I say a little more confidentially.

"Well, you should tell him. You've been holding this in for.. how long?" Joe asks.

"Years," I sigh, feeling a blush coming on.

"You definitely need to tell him," Andy says.

"I agree," Joe nods.

"But what about Liz, she'll just keep trying to ruin everything?"

"We can take care of her," Joe smirks.

I smile and thank them while hugging them. When I let go, I quickly run down the road to Pete's house.

*******

I rapidly knock on the door, hoping he was there.

"Pete?" I shout through the door.

There was no answer. I try the knob and find it was unlocked. I mentally cheer as I swing the door open and jog inside, looking around for any signs of Pete.

"Pete!" I yell around the house. There wasn't an answer and I began to worry. He has to be here, he just has to.

I finally make it to his room with the door wide open. I look around and see he's not there but I see the bathroom door was shut. It's never shut, not even when he's using it. He always just cracks the door when he's using it.

oh no.

"Pete!" I run to the door and bang on it several times. I wait a few seconds for an answer and I felt my body relax when I hear a faint, "Patrick?"

"Pete, oh my god, Pete, please open the door."

He was silent and I tried again, "Pete! Open the door, I need to talk to you!"

It was silent again and I decided to take action. I take a step back from the door and shove my foot as hard as I can at it, making it break from the lock and open, banging again the wall.

Yeah, by the way, small trigger warning here :(

My heart drops when I see Pete lying against the toilet, blood dripping from his wrists.

"Pete, oh my god," is all I can say.

I walk up to him and slump down next to him, pulling him against me, his head laying on my chest as he sobs.

I felt myself begin to cry, it killed me seeing him like this.

"Why, Pete? Why did you do this?" I whisper, my voice cracking.

"I-I just... I'm nothing. I'm j-just some l-loser that no one l-loves. I'm u-useless."

My heart shatters. It's all my fault. He does like me, and all that time of denying just made it worse for the both of us.

"Pete," I whisper, "You are not useless. You are not a loser, you aren't nothing. Pete, I've wanted to say this since you came to my house that one day years ago, but... I love you, Pete. God, it took me so long to say this, I don't know why, but I was just afraid you didn't feel the same and just- Jesus Pete, you don't understand how much you mean to me! It physically hurts seeing you like this and I just can't handle it."

He stops sobbing for a second to slowly lift up from my chest and look me in the eyes.

"Y-you love me?"

I nod slowly, letting a tear fall.

A small, weak smile grows on his face. "Patrick, I've had the biggest crush on you since you walked in that music store. All those years I've just grown to love you more. I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same either."

My heart swelled as I hear him say this. I chuckle as I say, "Man, we're just a wreck aren't we."

He sobs and laughs, wiping tears from his face. I decide this is my chance to make things right, make him feel loved by me, make him feel important because he is so so important.

I slowly lean forward and everything freezes to slow motion as our lips connect, making years of silent feelings burst through me, and him.

I felt it didn't last long enough when we both pull away, but I then realize where we were.

"Pete, we should get you cleaned up," I say softly, helping him off the floor and to the sink. I carefully stick his arms under the water and wash off the blood, then grab a bandage wrap from a little first aid kit I found under the sink. I wrap it around his wrists to stop the bleeding. Once I'm done, he looks me in the eyes and smiles.

"Thank you, Patrick. You don't even know how long I've been waiting for.. for this," He laughs.

I chuckle and pull him into a big hug.

"Me too."

Aight, so to you people that think this is going too fast or whatever... Reminder that this is a short-ish story and they've known each other for years and yeah.
But I think it's starting to come to a close :( don't worry, I still have a few chapters, but it's almost done!
I can still write more in the future, I just need to finish up some other things.
Thank you! Hope you're enjoying