Fulfillment's. (Book 2)

chapter 12

I didn't know where to go. What to think. What to do.

I wanted to be alone, but hated the silence.

I wanted to fucking scream, but didn't want to explain to anyone why.

I didn't want to talk my friends ears off, with all of my fucked up thoughts.

I truthfully just wanted to pitch myself off the astronomy tower and call it a fucking day.

I went back to my room.

I stood outside the door for a moment, not knowing if Enzo was still in there.

I took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Empty.

Yes.

I went to my bathroom, throwing cold water on my face, doing everything I could to avoid the person in the mirror starring back at me.

I didn't like her anymore. I felt sorry for her. She wasn't the same girl I could talk too, or admire.

She was damaged. Fucked up. Unfixable. 

I threw on my comfiest pair of pajamas and climbed into my bed, throwing my self so far under my blankets. Allowing my self to completely come undone and make as loud of noises as I want and gasp for air and just fall apart.

I haven't allowed this of myself yet and it felt so good. To not have anyone in my ear "Oh no, it'll be okay. Here, here" bullshit.

I emerged from under the covers, trying to gather myself, finding it was much harder to catch my breath now.

I was slipping.

I was fully aware I was beginning my spiral. I couldn't really say I cared though.

My door opened, and Enzo stood there, quickly realizing that I couldn't catch my breath and was panicking.

He rushed over to my bedside.

"Dahlia, breath." He whispered, rubbing my back.

I ignored him.

I wanted to give into the attack, so it knew it had no power over me.

"Dahlia."

"Enzo. Sh." I managed to get out.

I finally brought myself down. Taking a deep breath, as I looked over to Enzo's concerned face.

I moved down my covers, and patted the bed next to me.

He climbed in and put the covers over him, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in for a tight hug.

This was exactly what I needed right now.

I hurried my face in his neck.

"Dahlia."

"Please. No talking. I just need you to hold me."