The Punchline

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Content Warning: Slightly saltier language than usual :D

Alexander raised his hands, showing his palms. "I apologise," he said monotonously. "I thought something happened, and–"

"Jackie, tell me this is not what I think it is!" Stephen exclaimed.

Alexander's gaze travelled from the other man's forehead - where it rested to avoid eye contact, no doubt - onto Jackie. She suppressed the urge to close the robe tighter on her chest; Stephen had accidentally pulled at its bottom while they'd been floundering about.

This was her chance to practise all that openness about her relationship with Alexander she'd been so ballsy about - and she froze. The Jackie who was dating Alexander - loving Alexander - didn't give a toss; but Stephen had unavoidably transported her into her 'school mindset.' They'd been teachers together; they'd shared professional ethics. Plus, he was her ex! He was the last person she'd like to hear condemning her middle-aged, dowdy self for shagging a fit, much younger bloke way out of her league.

"I don't have to tell you anything, Stephen," she said in a low voice.

Stephen's face distorted in a grimace she'd never seen before and had trouble interpreting. 

And then he yelled "You wanker!" - and lunged at Alexander.

Alexander shifted, lazily, seemingly hardly moving - and Stephen missed him. Jackie yelped, jumped forward - and shrieked, from the pain bursting somewhere between her eyes, and inside her skull; and from the deafening crack; and then a complete silence, seemingly filling her head; and, immediately, ringing in her ears. Heat licked at her upper lip; and then she realised it was the blood pouring out of her nose.

"Jackie!" Stephen cried out.

She exhaled, "What?" and lifted her hand to her face.

The metallic, sour flavour of blood filled her mouth; and nausea rose.

"Jackie." Alexander's eyes were instantly in front of her. "Pinch your nose and lean forward." His tone was level and calm. "You don't want to swallow your blood."

His hand lay on her shoulder. She still hadn't moved a muscle, in shock, disoriented by the pain and the view of the scarlet on her fingers. He pushed, and she heavily sat down in a chair.

"I didn't mean to–" Stephen popped up in her field of vision, and she winced away. "Jackie, I'm so sorry! I didn't–"

"Alexander," Jackie breathed out and looked around, desperately seeking him.

"I'm here." The familiar scorching touch made her release the moan stuck in her throat. "C'mon, you know what to do. Pinch your nose."

She obeyed, lowering her face. Two large viscous drops heavily landed on her bare lap; her robe must have half-opened. She squeezed the bridge of her nose harder. Alexander changed positions, and she guessed that he'd glanced at his watch. Her hearing was still oddly affected.

And then Stephen's shaking voice reached her understanding.

"–accident! Jackie, I swear–"

"Alright, enough."

Alexander's words were sharp and gruff. Jackie whipped her head just in time to see Alexander shove Stephen away from Jackie. Stephen had been either bending, or squatting, to be on her level; and now he tumbled backwards, onto his posterior. He flailed his arms, trying to get up; and Alexander gathered a fistful of the other man's collar and lugged him after himself.

"Fuck! What are you–"

The rest of Stephen's swearing echoed in the hall; and then the front door banged against the wall, opening. Stephen shouted something else, already outside. The door slammed closed. And then the sequence of sounds repeated, while the doorbell rang through the cottage. And then once again, the door closed; and Alexander was next to her, sitting on his haunches.

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