What's That?

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Part 2 out of 2. I hope you enjoy <3

Jackie heard him give out another of his sighs.

"I've got nothing to say," he said. "It's the same rubbish as usual. I'm not angry with you. I never am." He paused, and she heard the familiar rumble in his throat. "I'm frustrated, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"You haven't called me for four days, and didn't invite me over right away, after I texted you," Jackie pointed out, sneaking a peep at him.

"I am angry," he repeated with a shrug.

He turned and studied the bouquet on the counter.

"You should tell me when it happens," Jackie blurted out. "And why you're angry, too. And tell me what I need to do to fix it! Alexander, I hate it that I'm upsetting and hurting you!"

He slowly faced her. She waited - but apparently he wasn't going to have a discussion. Jackie, on the other hand, felt quite the opposite.

"Alexander, I'm not good at this," she said. "At being in a relationship. In a good relationship. And I'm worried about all these other things, and I sort of lose sight of what's important. And because my standard of a relationship is so low, I don't notice if something goes wrong. It took me three days to realise that you aren't calling me and not coming over!" She pulled at her jumper again. "I'm not saying it right. You don't have to call or come over. But you normally do! And we've basically been living together! And then you just didn't come back, and I assumed that you didn't want to. And then I remembered that you said I should call you if I wanted you to. And of course I do! I don't sleep well without you. And it's boring. And I haven't felt like cooking, so I had a cup-o-noodle for supper yesterday. And the day before yesterday. And– Ugh, I'm not saying it right again."

She bent and set her forehead on his table.

"I suck at dating," she moaned.

"Yeah, a tad."

Jackie darted a side glance at him. He was surveying her now, with a shadow of amusement curling up the corners of his lips.

"Please tell me when I'm being a dick," Jackie begged.

"You aren't, though." He shrugged again. "You're scared people will find out. You explained the reasons to me. They make sense. You still decided to date me, despite it threatening your career." His voice was serious now. "That's why I'm not angry with you. I'm frustrated with the situation. And Stephen Bassey gets on my wick."

Jackie sat up straight.

"Why?! I mean, he knows that we're together! I'm not hiding it from him!"

"I didn't say anything about you," Alexander retorted. "Don't take responsibility for his shit."

Jackie opened - and then closed her mouth. Alexander had just outed her knee-jerk reaction; but, as she'd so loftily announced just a few hours ago in the back of the bakery: Stephen Bassey had nothing to do with her.

"He's whingy," Alexander grumbled. "And full of himself, at the same time. And–" He halted, and then rubbed the underside of his jaw with his knuckles. "Normally I don't give a toss. I am jealous, but that's because I had to wait for twelve years. You're bound to have exes. It never affects me that much. I gave it a thought; and I think that I feel insecure. Because some of the shit he spouts might be true. And it bothers me."

Jackie's heart clenched.

"What sort of... shit?" she asked.

"He mentioned the school and me being a pupil there before," Alexander listed impassively. "But we talked about it; and that's up to you. But also, that I can't be a good partner to you. Because of how I am." He tapped his index finger to his temple. "He worked with special needs pupils; so I reckon he knows. And it's true that you are forced to make 'concessions'. And if our relationship becomes a problem, I might not be able to support you. Emotionally speaking."

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