No Control (Book 1)

53. Over Again

I ran full pelt from The Rose Garden to the tube, desperately trying to switch my phone on, but it was having none of it. I thought of calling Callie to ask her what I should do, before I remembered I couldn't call her because my battery was dead. I also briefly wondered when I was going to stop being so stupid.

I got back to my flat at quarter to seven and shoved the charger in the little slot, my hands trembling. I waited impatiently while it started up and registered on the network, and waited for any messages to come through.

From: Harry Styles: Wow. You sure moved on quick.

"No no no no no," I breathed. My heart was hammering as I swiped Harry's name and lifted my phone to my ear. "Please answer, please answer, please answer," I muttered as it began its American dialtone. After 4 rings it went to voicemail. I pulled it away from my ear in frustration and called again straight away. It diverted to voicemail again, and did the same on my third attempt.

By now I was almost hyperventilating, and the tears that had been burning at the backs of my eyes since I left The Rose Garden spilled down my cheeks. I couldn't believe he was ignoring my calls. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on me.

I opened up my texts and sat there trying to think how to put everything I wanted to say into a few impersonal characters on a message screen. I finally settled on:

To: Harry Styles: Hey, I just got my phone back, I left it in a bar on Saturday night which is why I didn't call you on Sunday. Sorry for always messing everything up. I really need to speak to you. I miss you. Call me xxxxxx

I decided not to try and explain everything over a text message and hoped instead Harry was not as stubborn as me, and wouldn't take two weeks to get in touch. Turns out I didn't have to wait long at all.

From: Harry Styles: Hey, don't worry about it. Grimmy told me your mate was setting you up with some guy called Adam. He answered your phone when I called you on Sunday. Hope it was a good night. Take care.

I felt my stomach drop to my shoes. Not only because he had jumped to the obvious (and wrong) conclusion, but because he sounded so casual about it. Like he wasn't even bothered. My heart pounded as I swiped the screen and called him, praying to every God in the universe that he would accept the call. He didn't.

I began to cry in frustration as I typed out another text to him.

To: Harry Styles: It's not what you think! I left my phone in the bar. It was about 3am, I was drunk and I got a cab home on my own. Callie wanted to set me up with her boyfriend's mate called Adam, and the barman who found my phone was also called Adam. Please call me back xxxxxx

From: Harry Styles: Wow, both called Adam? That's a coincidence. Sorry I can't, I'm busy.

My hands were shaking. Harry had never been like this with me before - so indifferent, so hard. I didn't know how to take it. 

To: Harry Styles: It is a coincidence, honestly. I wouldn't go back to some random guy's house I don't know xxxxxx

From: Harry Styles: Ha. Wouldn't you?

Oh God. This was awful. I knew he was making the point that I had done exactly that with him only a couple of months ago, but he knew he was the only person I'd ever had a one night stand with. I'd told him enough times.

I tried calling him again but he was still refusing to answer.

To: Harry Styles: Not with anyone else, you know that. You were the exception. I know how this looks but I promise you I went straight home on my own. If you'd just call me I can explain properly. I don't want to do this over text xxxxxx