No Control (Book 1)

72. Last First Kiss

Here's the second part of the weekend update!! :)

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We got up late on Sunday and went to see Nick Grimshaw in the afternoon. We had a few drinks with him at his place, and then Harry stayed over at my flat again. Neither of us felt like getting dressed up and going out; we just wanted to enjoy some time chilling out just the two of us, as Harry would be away from Wednesday until the following weekend.

Harry caught up with his friends during the day while I was at work, and we spent every night together at my flat, talking about anything and everything, kissing, cuddling and making love.

The band were due to fly to Vienna on Wednesday, so Harry gave me a lift into work in the morning as usual on his way back home .

"Have you had any more thoughts about going public?" he asked as we got into his Range Rover.

"I've been meaning to ask you the same thing," I replied. "I've just been happily ensconced in our little bubble, so I haven't really given it much thought."

"Do you still want to?" he asked.

"Of course," I said. "I think most people have worked it out anyway so I feel like it won't be as much of a shock to the world. I've been pictured with you on so many occasions now."

"Maybe when I'm next home I could take you out somewhere for dinner?"

"Sounds great." I couldn't hide my smile as I looked away out of the window. "I'm so looking forward to not having to hide it."

"Me too, baby," he said softly. "I can't wait to kiss you in public and not care if someone sees. Which reminds me.... you haven't kissed me yet this morning."

"Actually, you haven't kissed me," I said loftily.

"How about we kiss each other then?" he suggested as we pulled up at the traffic lights outside my office.

"Deal," I said, leaning across to kiss him.

As our lips touched I felt the usual fireworks explode, and I wondered just how long this excitement would last. Every kiss felt like our first kiss - surely I wouldn't still have these feelings if we were still together in our nineties?

Of course you will, it's Harry Styles, I answered myself, at the same time I also thought, We won't be together then - this will never last.

I felt a jolt of unhappiness at the latter of the two thoughts, which had felt more like a sudden realisation. I needed to stop waiting for all this to come crashing down, and learn just to live in the moment. The guy was in love with me, for heaven's sake. I needed to get over myself.

"I love you so much," he said softly as he pulled away. "I hope you know that."

"Yeah, I do," I smiled. "I love you more, though."

"I really, really don't think you do," he said shyly.

"I've got an extra two years on you," I teased.

"That doesn't count," he said, shaking his head.

"It does in my head," I told him. "Hey, did you sort things out with Louis?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "It's all good."

"You don't sound convinced?"

He rubbed his face with his hand. "There's some stuff I need to tell you, but it will take a while and you'll want to know the ins and outs, so to speak, so right now is not the time."

"Sounds ominous," I said, uncertainly.

"It's some serious stuff," he nodded. "But nothing for you to worry about, I promise."