This changes everything

Chapter 9: The morning after

I woke up the next morning with Leah next to me.  She laid there in perfection, her hair was messy, and she was snoring a bit, but that didn't matter, she was still perfect to me.  

It was about seven in the morning.  I could never sleep after a night of drinking and Leah had training at ten since she had a game the next day.  She looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake her up.  I also didn't want to face the conversation we were going to have today.  That conversation needed to happen.  We couldn't keep pretending mean words weren't said to each other and we had everything in our lives together, so I let her sleep for a bit longer and headed downstairs to make myself a coffee. 

I made my coffee and sat on the couch putting the television on.  Alex wasn't up yet so I was all alone, which I partly wanted. 

My relationship ended a week ago and I kissed Leah.  For some reason I felt guilty.  It's not like Owen and I were together or would get back together.  I feel like Leah and I's story started long before that, not something I wanted to admit, but the moment she came into my life something changed.  I mean the kiss was great.  The night we just spent in that bed was magical and everything in life finally started to feel right, yet I was still confused. 

Alex soon joined me making herself a coffee and we sat on the couch talking about the night before.  We did this all of the time when we lived together in Toronto, but it mainly consisted of her complaining about how hungover she was and the guys our friends would get with. 

I filled her in on everything that happened with Leah.  

"It just makes sense you know, I never felt this way with Owen" 

"I think she would be really good for you, but I think you should be happy with yourself being gay before you jump into anything, it could ruin everything" 

She was right.  I'm not one hundred percent sure why I had my doubts still.  From the age of ten my parents would tell me they would still love me if I was gay.  For whatever reason I couldn't embrace myself liking girls, after that kiss with Leah I knew I for sure did, yet I felt so uncomfortable telling the people I love. Sometimes I wish my brain could shut off, and these feelings of unnecessary doubt would go away, and I could be content with who I was.  

I finally got up to wake up Leah, I knew she would be mad if she didn't have enough time in the morning before training.  

I went upstairs and laid back beside her.  I shook her and she woke up.  Stretching her arms and having a big yawn. 

"That was some night wasn't it" 

She smiled at me. 

"Yeah it was" 

I smiled back at her. 

Leah got up and I offered to make her breakfast but she denied it claiming she needed enough time to get ready before training that day.  I understood, she didn't have anything here and I'm the same way, I love to be in my own space.  

She headed to the front door and put her shoes on. 

"Leah, after you're done training can we talk?" 

"Yeah of course" 

Before leaving my flat, she gave me a hug and a soft kiss on the cheek. 

I could see Alex in the corner of my eye cheering us on.  I just hoped Leah didn't see that too. 

---- 

Alex and I spent the day exploring London.  She's never been here so she insisted on doing all of the touristy things together.  I took her to see Big Ben, the London eye, and Buckingham Palace.  We also walked around the city so she could pick up some souvenirs for Seb and some of her coworkers.