This changes everything

Chapter 20: New years eve

After finding Alex the perfect wedding dress and spending the rest of the day doing more of her do it yourself crafts I headed to my childhood home to spend the day with the rest of the holidays with her. 

My goodbye with Alex was filled with tears like they always had been but soon I would be back in Canada to stand by her side while she married the love of her life, and spend the night drinking wine while watching movies, as Seb went out with his frat boy groomsmen, trying not to think about the worst things they could be doing, even though he wouldn't actually do anything to hurt Alex. 

On Christmas morning, it was just my mum and I, like every year after my brother passed, and trying to forget about the horrible thing that happened on this day 6 years ago.  As much as I hated Canada, I was glad I could spend this day with her.  I resented her for so long, but she was my mom and she needed me. 

We then went to one of her friend's families Christmas's that evening, considering her and her sisters don't talk and they spend their Christmas with their husbands' sides of the family.  Although this day marks some of the worst days of our lives, that left us traumatized, spending it with the people you care about makes everything a whole lot easier.  

The time spent at my childhood home went by quickly and I was soon headed back to London.  It was now the 28th of December and I was set to fly back the next day.  I was packing my things up, since I needed to be up early to catch the train that would take me to the airport, when I noticed a jewelry box hiding at the bottom of my backpack.  I opened the box, only to find what was given to me last Christmas. 

It was the necklace Leah gave me last Christmas.  The necklace that her initial dangled from.  The necklace that I yanked off the day I found out her and Alina had kissed, and hid so I would never have to look at it again.  But here I find myself putting it back on, realizing what Seb said was true, there's no reason why I can't fight for her now, everything else can be figured out later on.  It was at this moment, I knew what I had to tell my mom, something I have been avoiding for ages. 

She was in bed scrolling on her phone when I opened the door to her room.  I laid beside her in bed, searching for that comfort you get when you're a little girl cuddling with you mom as she plays with your hair, except this time I was 23 about to tell her I was gay and the only thing that would calm me down in this situation, was her showing her love. 

"Mum, I need to tell you something" 

My head was on her chest as she was stroking my hair, and I felt the nod of her head as her chin brushed against the top of my head. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this sooner, I think I thought you would be disappointed in me, but I like this girl, well I like girls, but she plays football and her name is Leah" 

She didn't say anything, she stopped stroking my hair, the pit in my stomach was only growing larger. 

"Is that the mysterious person Alex has been telling me about?" 

I knew my mom was helping Alex a bit with the wedding, but I wasn't expecting her to say anything about my dating life. 

"Yeah, I guess" 

Again, she didn't say anything, maybe she was finding the right words to say. 

"You know I don't care who you love, whether it's a girl, or a boy, or someone who's non-binary, you're my daughter, and I love you, unconditionally" 

I felt one of her tears fall on the top of my head as I was wiping the ones that started to pour out of my eyes away. She then spoke again. 

"I want everything for you in life, but the most important thing is that I want you to be happy, something's changed with you ever since you moved there, you seem a lot happier, and I think Leah has a big part in that, never let that go"