This changes everything

Chapter 15: Turning 23

"We need to talk, about Leah" 

"What about her?"  

"She's been a mess, she's not eating, sleeping, she barely comes out with us anymore, whatever happened between you guys needs to be fixed now" 

This was the moment I knew Leah hadn't told Beth what happened that night. 

"She didn't tell you did she?" 

"Tell me what?" 

"The night I left to go to my Dad's, Leah called Alina, she went over there and they kissed" 

It was at this moment, I could tell Beth regretted ever coming here and telling me I needed to fix things with Leah. 

"What did you say?" 

"I told her to get out of my house, and honestly Beth, I think she has a lot of work to do on herself, and maybe I do too, before we can even consider getting back together" 

"So you're saying you would get back together with her?" 

"I really do love her Beth, but right now I'm hurt and mad, and I think for us to get this right the next time around, we both need to heal, and figure our shit out" 

She responded to that with a simple nod, it was clear she knew we was breaking boundaries. 

----- 

It was now August of 2020.  My birthday passed in July, I was now 23.  I spent the day at work, but Rosie made sure the cooks knew, so they made me a tiny cake with ingredients they found in the back.  Rosie used one of her cigarettes as a candle, so we didn't end up eating it. 

At 23 years old, I picked up the nasty habit of smoking.  I smoked a bit in my undergrad, but nothing too crazy.  I think the state my life was in and how endorsing Rosie was, it was inevitable. 

At 22 years old, I thought my life was all figured out, and now at 23 the world was so much more confusing. 

In August, I was supposed to head back to Arsenal for preseason.  There were more restrictions and masks were mandatory for everyone who worked on the grounds to wear.  There were also no fans allowed at the stadiums, which I knew would be hard on the girls, the fans were their motivation. 

My professor at reached out the first week of August to let me know all the regulations I would have to follow once we got back.  It included weekly testing, masking, and some steps I would have to follow if I got sick.  He also gave me the list of players I would be starting taking as my own patients for this season.  I scanned through hoping I wouldn't see her name, but there she was at the bottom of the email, Leah Williamson. 

I mean we didn't talk since that night, I'm sure Beth told her about the conversation she had with me, hoping that would be enough to get us through this season, in a professional way. 

In August, I called Alex to break the news to her about Leah, but also advice on how to manage our working relationship, since she would now be my patient, and I would be her sports psychologist. 

"How to I even tell her the ways she needs to work on her mind to be a better player, I'm sure she doesn't even care about anything I have to say" 

"You knew this when you started seeing her" 

"I never expected this to happen" 

"Can you tell your professor you don't want to have her as a patient?" 

"No, he'll have his suspicions, when I was with her I never thought of my career, god why was I so selfish" 

"You weren't being selfish, plus you know Beth probably told her you would want to get back together, so she might be more kind to you"