To Hell, With You | KTH

11th Chapter: Nepenthe

Emotional Part (EP): This is the second. They are the parts that retain trauma, complex, unintegrated emotions. They are parties that usually interfere in the activities of the ANPs (Apparently Normal Parts). They are responsible for bringing on flashbacks and creating many of the somatoform symptoms.

EP is that part of the personality that has remained fixed at the moment of trauma and is associated with the system of avoidance of threatening stimuli. He becomes obsessed with avoiding the unpleasant, with not experiencing it again. A trait associated with PE in a person who has suffered sexual abuse would be being hyper-vigilant, fleeing or fighting in a situation that reminds them of what they experienced, even though it apparently has nothing to do with it.

The ANP and the PE are closed and rigid structures, one with respect to the other. There are emotions in both parts, not only in the PE, and it should be noted that structural dissociation can encompass multiple divisions of both types, that is, a person does not have to have only one ANP and one PE, that is, two personalities speaking in a somewhat colloquial way. In healthy people who have not suffered any trauma, these two structures will be together and associated.

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Amy POV

"You said that you know Jangwoo's family, and that they are bad, why?" As I finished that question, his face stopped in surprise, blinking rapidly, his features contracting, he seemed to be fighting hard against something and I didn't know what to do to calm him down.

His nose turned red, his eyes glazed over, he was sweating a lot but he seemed to have frozen, looking at me statically without breathing, his pheromones changed to chocolate-strawberry-vanilla nuts. I could feel him shaking horribly beneath me, so I immediately stood up giving him space.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you." I spoke softly, going down slowly and sitting on the floor under his attentive gaze. "My name is Amy." I smiled kindly. But I received no response, only a small tear escaped from his eyes, running down his beautiful reddish cheek. "Could you breathe for me? Please?" I indicated with gestures that he should follow my rhythm, and upon realizing that he was not breathing, he became aware of it, imitating me.

"Ushie..." he murmured, watching behind me. I looked in the direction he pointed, confused. "Ushie..." he repeated in a very high-pitched, adorable voice.

"You want this?" I pointed to the stuffed animal that he was looking at in the corner. Nodding quickly, his eyes wide and bright, he extended his arms, opening and closing his hands towards the plushie. I fought hard not to melt with cuteness.

Upon handing it to him, he immediately hugged it tightly, rocking back and forth, patting the stuffed bear on his back, as if trying to calm it down. His eyes were filled with tears, but he remained silent.

I honestly didn't know what to do, or how to approach him, I was afraid to scare him, he looked very vulnerable. He kept watching me, attentive to my movements. I opened my mouth to say something and he immediately closed his eyes tightly, lowering his head as if I were going to hit him. He was mumbling things that I couldn't hear, so I sharpened my hearing.

"Please, please, don't hurt me, I promise to be a good boy, I'm going to be a good boy, please don't hurt me..." Hearing that I opened my eyes wide. Tears ran down his cheeks, while my heart twisted from the pain of seeing him like this. "Please, I'm going to behave well, I'm a good boy, it wasn't my intention, please don't..." He walked away from me slowly, sticking himself to the wall, placing his hands in front, as if he wanted to prevent something, as if he wanted to try to defend himself.

"It's okay, you're a good boy, everything is fine. Calm down and look at me." I said with a soft but firm voice, unfortunately, I said the last sentence more abruptly than I wanted, since he got scared and looked at me obediently, still trembling and with tears in his eyes. "I'm here to help you, okay? I'm not going to hurt you, calm down, everything is fine, no one will hurt you."