The Rossi boy

Chapter 31

We drove in silence for the twenty minutes ride. The electric current that filled the air was drawing sparks in the dark space between us.

I pulled to the inner road and saw the porch light on, in the distance.

"There's someone waiting for us?"

I shook my head no to her. It wasn't unusual for it to be on, since it turned automatically at six pm, every day. But couldn't mutter a word out loud to her.

Truth be told, I was scared shittless.

It was one of those moments where you feel like you're finally getting that thing you've been waiting ages for, but at the same time have this inexplicable fear of loosing it even before you grab hold of it. Like you can never fully enjoy the moment because you're afraid to miss it... Or something like that.

Isabelle's eyes are trained on the dark outside her window. She looked calm, but I knew her better than that. Her mind was racing with a million thoughts per second. Some of them, I'm sure ran along with mine.

She loves me. I know she does. And that alone is enough to terrify her.

When we were children, she once told me she'd never fall in love. 'Look what it did to my mom...' the eight years old reasoned.

It was a particularly hot afternoon when her father got wasted even before Laura got home from work. We came home from school and heard him yelling to the washing machine for making too much noise... Isabelle didn't even go in. We went to my house and ate ice cream hiding inthe attic.

"If that's what getting married is, I'm never gonna do it." She firmly decided.

"Well,I don't think it is. My mom and dad are married, too, but they are nothing like yours..." I remember telling her, and wondering why it was so different for one couple and the other. Like day and night.

Now, she turned ever so slightly and watched me from the corner of her eye. I could see the wheels turning in her head trying to figure me out.

There's no way in hell that she doubts I want her. I sure made it obvious to her since the first time my lips fell on hers. She knows how hard it is for me to resist her. I swear to God I try with all my might but I just can't get enough when we are together, and each time is more difficult to stop. But I know she wonders how much of my reaction is due to her or my so called "alpha nature"

It's not only that she is insecure because of her backstory, but also because of mine. I fooled around so much that it's coming back to haunt me. Karma is a bitch.

So I don't want to pressure her 'cuz I want her to understand perfectly clear that I love her, and my need of her, is a result of it, not of lust... At least not exclusively of lust.

The engine roars to a stop and silence fills the air between us.

I have to brace myself to utter the words I'm about to speak:

"Isabelle, if you have changed your mind, I'll turn this car around and never question you about it."

The silence that follows is deafening. My heart seems to be beating in slow motion in my ears, waiting for something to bring it back to life.

I would be lying if I say I wouldn't be disappointed if she changes her mind. Of course I would be. But I'm absolutely sincere about waiting for her. Isabelle is not 'some girl'. I mean, we've been together since we were born... I know how much emotional baggage she's got. She knows exactly where all my buttons are. There is no one in this world that knows us inside out, like we know each other.