Still Holding On

Chapter 68

Tony wakes up feeling refreshed.

That never happens.

He gives Loki credit for that.

Speaking of Loki, he's curled up on his own side of the bed, Edward held gently in his arms and his head resting on Tony's stomach. He seems to be having a good night – or morning, or afternoon, or whatever the hell time it is – and Tony's in no rush to wake him. Instead, he just peers down at him, a soft smile on his lips.

He's missed this. It was nice, having Pepper in bed with him, but it wasn't the same. She's not him. She's never going to be him. She has her own, equally important role in his life, and he wouldn't want to lose either of them.

... He's pretty sure he's not at risk of losing Loki anymore?

Not permanently, at least. Even if he doesn't stay here – that may be wishful thinking on his part – it doesn't seem like he's going to run away forever and ever anymore. That may be something to ask him later today.

But until then, he's just going to lie here and enjoy the sight of his sleepy little Loki.

He's not sure how long it takes for Loki to finally begin to stir – long enough that just looking at him stops being all that entertaining, at least, though not long enough that Tony decides to turn the TV on and risk waking him up.

"Hey," Tony whispers. "You awake?"

"Mm-mm," Loki hums. "Sleeping."

"You're sleeping?" Tony repeats, amused.

"Mm-hmm."

"But you're talking."

"Sleeping."

Tony chuckles. "Alright. Sleeping." It takes all his self-control not to lean down and kiss the top of his head. He's just so freaking cute! It's not fair, honestly. He shouldn't be this cute if he's not going to let Tony fall in love with him. (Granted, it's far too late to stop him, but if Loki is going to keep being this cute, Tony would like to at least act on it. As it is, he's afraid to even bring his feelings up again.)

Now that he knows that Loki's somewhat awake, he does turn on the television, though he makes a point to avoid the news lest they have a repeat of the other day. It's different now that Loki remembers it, of course. He doesn't have to fear him asking questions he doesn't know how to answer. But he'd hate to restart their day on such a negative note.

Instead, he turns on a Psych rerun. He's never actually sat down to watch the show, but the glimpses he's caught of it make it look interesting, and he could use the laughs.

It's after the third or fourth joke Tony finds funny that Loki finally lifts his head to look at the screen. He gives it a weird look.

"It's some detective show," Tony says vaguely, muting it to give the god his full attention. "How'd you sleep?"

"Wonderfully," Loki replies with a slight smile. "You've never been to Asgard, I presume?"

"Uh... no?" Tony says uncertainly. That's a weird question. "Why do you ask?"

"I dreamt that we were there together," Loki says wistfully. "I was showing you around the Palace. We had to hide from the guards because I don't believe you were supposed to be there – and I may also not have been allowed there? I can't remember for certain." He smiles contentedly. "It was nice, though. It was a nice dream."

Tony can't help but smile at the thought. "So your real-world dreams are gone, you think? Now that you know what happened?"

That may have been the wrong question to ask, because Loki's smile falters. "I don't know," he says. "I've had dreams that were only dreams before. It may only be a coincidence that I had one of those today."

Tony looks at him sympathetically. "I guess we'll find out tonight, then."

Loki just nods.

Tony pauses. He didn't quite think that sentence though. He doesn't want to make assumptions, but he doesn't want to ask any overwhelming questions about his future right now, either, so, after a few moments of deliberation, he finally asks, "Are you going to be here tonight?"

Loki shrugs sheepishly. "I'd like to be, if you don't mind," he says. "I haven't quite thought of what to do now. I'd like to put that off at least until tomorrow."

"Yeah, no, sure," Tony says quickly. "There's no rush. Take as long as you need."

"Thank you, Tony." He rests his head back down on Tony's chest. "Thank you for helping me. You've done far more than I ever could have asked, especially knowing what I know now."

"Don't worry about it," Tony says. "I like having you around, remember?"

"And I like that you like having me around," Loki replies. "So thank you."

Tony shakes his head to himself. "You need to stop thanking me," he says. "I was an ass, remember? I'm a dick. I don't deserve to be showered in 'thank you's."

"But, ass-ness aside," Loki says, "you have been very kind."

Tony snickers. "'Ass-ness.'"

"It's not quite a real word, is it?" Loki muses.

"No, I'm pretty sure you made that one up," Tony agrees.

"I should write a book," Loki decides.

Tony huffs. "A book?"

"Mm-hmm," he hums. "A book. A novel – or a dictionary. Perhaps I should start there; spread my new words to the masses before popularizing them in my own works of fiction."

Tony can't help but laugh. "You're adorable."

"I am very tired," Loki replies by way of explanation.

"Oh." Tony purses his lips. "Do you want to go back to sleep? Because I can shut up if you want me to."

"No, I imagine I'll feel more awake when I sit up," he says. "But as of now, I feel as though my brain is working on half-power."

"And even at half power," Tony says teasingly, "it's still making up new words."

Loki hums contentedly and rolls over, his head still resting on Tony's chest but facing him this time – leaving his legs awkwardly sticking off the side of the bed, though he doesn't seem to mind. "Thank you for letting me sleep here."

"Any time," Tony says, and he means it in the most literal sense.

Loki lets his eyes flutter closed again, and he curls up in a ball so only his feet are hanging off the bed. Tony watches with an amused smile. He really is adorable. What did he do before he had a Loki in his life?

Without opening his eyes, Loki says, "I suppose we should get up."

"Probably," Tony agrees.

Neither of them move.

"Or maybe in a few minutes," Loki says, his words already partially slurred from sleep.

Tony chuckles. "Alright," he says. "We'll go in a few minutes."