half a heart | beynika

22

Nicki was gone for the next few days, which gave me and Iris some one-on-one time. I hadn't really gotten around to discuss things about her future with her. She was young, so of course I wasn't going to toss everything on her. But I did want to know how much she truly understood, and how she felt.

Deciding that we'd start the day off with some good breakfast, I began to cook. She usually woke up around eight, and it was currently seven. So I had time to prepare a meal. I stuck with her favorite: chocolate chip pancakes, eggs and sausage. And to her request, a cup of orange juice.

I set her outfit out for the day before I began cooking. I wanted us to coordinate in some way. So I stuck with the color orange. It was a great color on her complexion and as well as mine.

Making my way back downstairs, I started some music on the tv then trail-blazed to the fridge. As "No One" by Alicia Keys played throughout the home, I got into my zone. I wasn't the best in the kitchen, but I learned some tricks from Cleo. I was a master at breakfast. Everything else was not my forte.

As I scrambled our eggs with a sprinkle of cheese, I heard the tiny footsteps echo down to the kitchen. "Yonce! Yonce! Too loud!" Iris complained. I grabbed the remote to pause the music before picking up the child. "I'm sorry, beautiful."

She nodded before resting her head on my shoulder. I walked back to the stove to finish off the eggs before taking them off the heat. "How'd you sleep? Two thumbs up?" I asked. Since she was freshly awake, she didn't talk too much. So physical responses worked best for moments like this. She gave me the two in response and I smiled. "Good. I'm making your favorite. So let's go freshen up before we eat."

Freshening up then enjoying our delicious meal, I carried Iris into the living room. We sat on the couch and watched her favorite YouTube videos. I watched as the white man in suspenders jump around the dirt pile, explaining what it was and how it holds bacteria.

"Yonce! I looovveee Blippi!" Iris turned her attention to me. "I think he's kind of weird, lady bug. But to each their own." I shrugged.

"How about we hang out today? Do some fun stuff? Maybe buy some toys?" I suggested. She nodded eagerly. I knew the mentioning of toys would easily persuade the five year old. We finished the video before heading to her bedroom. I got her dressed, even doing her hair. I hated doing her hair. She had so much of it, and she was also tender headed. I left hair styling to my girlfriend. I slicked her hair up into two puff balls. They were crooked, and definitely not as cute as Onika would have them.

I took a picture of Iris' hair to send to Onika.

:Bae how i do

Wife ❤️: beyonce get that shit out my baby head

: 😖 you know i cant do hair

Wife ❤️:my poor baby gon walk around looking crazy. let me bring my ass back home.

I disliked her message before putting my phone on the charger. "Okay, I'm going to get ready now. You stay here and don't move, okay?" I turned the television on in the bedroom and put on something I knew would keep her entertained. I got all of my belongings before getting into the shower. I left the door open just in case she would need me.

__________

I almost regretted giving this child the freedom to roam around in this store. But seeing her happy is what made it all worth it. Every time she made her way back to me, she would toss in another toy. I was glad that she realized clothes were important too until the child began to bring back full outfits along with shoes. She is truly Onika's kid.

Going to the register, my heart fell out of my ass hearing the total. I looked down to Iris, wanting to tell her no, but her big, brown eyes and gummy smile made me think otherwise. I took my card out and inserted it. Hearing the machine ring to let me know to remove my card, took me out of my daze.

Leaving the store with several bags, I did decide that now would be a good time to wind things down. So, we went to the nearest ice cream shop. Now was the time that I would ask Iris about what she did and didn't know. To say the least, I was scared. I knew she was smart, aware and attentive. I just didn't know how much she processed everything.

Settling into a booth, I let Iris dig into her delicacy before asking things.

"So, I have a very serious question to ask you, bug. Can I have your attention for a moment?" I said to her. She looked up at me then nodded. "Okay!"

"Um. Do- do you know who your mommy is?" I asked her. She tapped her chin then nodded.

"Yeah! Nicki!" She smiled wide. I returned the smile but then frowned a little.

"So you don't remember Tina?"

"Cleo say Tina is a bad lady! I don't like Tina! She's mean to my Yonce!" She complained, setting her spoon down to fold her arms. A small relief is what I felt when she mentioned our older sister. It was good to know that she was informing Iris about these things. It made the deliveries much easier.

I nodded. "Tina is a mean lady. She hurt me a lot. But, you'll never, ever see her, okay? Another question, do you know who your daddy is?"

She shook her head no. "Nicki say that you be my daddy but I tell her no cause you a girl! So you be mommy too, right?"

I chuckled. "Well, yes, I can be. We'll leave it at that." I didn't want to confuse her and I honestly don't want to confuse myself. How she put it was good, and it was clear that she was okay. So, I let my worries go. All she knows is Onika and I. So I'm grateful for that.

________________________
A/N: This book was supposed to end at 25 chapters. But, my plans have changed due to recent feedback. So I'll extend it as far as I think it should go. As long as you guys are happy and thoroughly enjoying it.

I LOOVVEE YOOOUU 🩷