The DejaVu I Never Knew- SEQUEL

CHAPTER 3- RAYNA

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."

― haruki murakami

Rayna

...

Making my way to Denise's house all I could think about was a few years back when she had us sneak into Mr. Oscar's office to steal the file. Everytime Denise calls me I have to mentally prepare myself because it means I was about to do something that could potentially have me arrested and never see the light of day again.

Pulling up on her driveway I used my key and let myself in. As soon as I stepped in she threw herself on me...and I instinctively wrapped my arms around her.

"It's alright sweetheart, I'm right here...What's going on?" I said stroking her hair.

"It's Raymond. Everything Is Raymond. All this time it's been him" she said, sobbing.

"What did he do?" I asked, confusion written all over my face.

"You might want to sit."

And just like that I knew I was right to think her calls could get me arrested. For days she has been dealing with this and never told anyone. I could see the conflict in her eyes along with the confusion of not knowing what to do. As her best friend I felt helpless, what could I do? She's carrying her rapist's child...How does one get over something like that? How does one properly cope and heal with something like that? Denise isn't the person that would go and get an abortion, but there's no way she could just...

"I have to forgive him, Rayna.." she said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Um no you don't"

"I understand why he did it..."

"What exactly are you going to tell your child when she asks you how you and her father met?"

"Okay I didn't call you here to judge me."

"I'm not judging, I just want to know. Honey listen, you want to set a good example for her/him. This is not okay. Raymond can't just bat his pretty eyelashes and expect you to put all this behind you just because he had a tough childhood. Your past is never an excuse or valid reason to go and be cruel to others..."

"It wasn't his fault!"

"Why are you defending him?"

"I'm not defen.."

"Please tell me why you're trying to paint a pretty picture over this?" I said getting up not understanding anything she was saying to me. I spent years watching her beat herself up, I've seen how damaged she was and how she managed to pull herself together over the years and here she was about to ruin it all. "Rayna listen to me...Please. You don't think I understand how fucking horrible this whole situation is? This is hard. He saved me Rayna, you were there...you saw how happy I was. You saw how much he cared about me and you know he would never do anything to hurt me. I get it. He ruined my life. He destroyed me. And now ..." Watching her pace back and forth crying and laughing uncontrollably. "He destroyed me, and somehow put me back together again. And now I'm carrying his child... but you know what Ray...what would you do if you were in my shoes? You've been there for me..so please...you don't agree with my decision then please tell me what to do." She said looking at me the same way she had looked at me after she first lost her mom, hopeless.

"Come here," My heart softened "tu sais que je suis ici pour tois...toujours" I took her in my arms and held her trying to soothe her. "You know none of this would be happening if you had just been a good faithful girlfriend to me." She burst out laughing, and I couldn't help but laugh with her reminiscing of the shortest lesbian relationship I've ever experienced.

"I can't believe this is what you're thinking about right now." I said, wiping the tears off her face.

"Oh come on, you know I'm right. I was yours, I was scared but honey you could've had me since high school if you truly wanted me..." She said walking off into her basement.

"Yeah...don't remind me." I said to myself watching her strut away, as I fought to push back the painful memories of our past.