The Story of Us

Thirteen

I'm going to start this off with a journal entry I did in April of 2022 during a creative writing group at my new job:

We are driving in the Mazda on our way to in-n-out. We are still talking about his mom's engagement ring. I accidentally kick the brown Del Taco bag and smell the French fries he didn't finish fills the car. I shuffle my feet as he drives over the 210 freeway and makes a hint about our own engagement. My heart starts to race as I look from the window to him. He is still dirty from work, wearing his typical Cleetus McFarland shirt and Dickies shorts. "What?" I ask him, as we turn onto 21st street. He tells me he's already said too much. He points at the church on the corner, a white building that seems to stretch on for a while, and tells me he once drifted in that parking lot with his friend Cameron. I look from the church back to my window, watching the houses blur past. "My moms friend lives up here." I say, trying to not ask about the engagement thing. He acts interested and I point at a house that has a long driveway and is on the corner of some side street. As we cross over Euclid, all I can think about is the comment he made. I scan the trees that divide Euclid into north bound and south bound, scanning for any joggers but it's so late already that nobody is there. It's honestly not that late, only like 7:30pm. As we cross over the north bound section, my mind floats back to the comment and I keep trying to refrain from asking him to elaborate on the comment. I purse my lips, still watching as the large houses pass by. As we come to the stop sign, I look around at all the dirt. I can feel the hunger bubbling up inside me as I shift my feet again, triggering the smell of the French fries once again.
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2022 was our best year yet. As mentioned in the previous section, we continued growing. In July, he paid for my first tattoo because he knew I wanted it and in September, we got a place together. Granted, it was hard getting there. I got let go from the Teen mental health job for stupid reasons, got a job at a retirement home which I hated (I had a mental breakdown on like my second day because I was left to fend for myself when I knew NOTHING). His mom was getting evicted from her house because the landlord wanted to renovate (and charge more rent). I got a job at a public school and we moved in together, along with one of his friends. I knew it was a bad idea, but it made it more affordable for us. This friend had asked Stephen for money in the past for rent and had a drug problem, but we hoped that he wouldn't want to screw over his best friend.

We were wrong. I think he paid his rent on time 3 times out of the 10 months he lived with us. We were constantly chasing him down for rent money.

But again, that's not what this story is about.

Stephen and I seemed so happy. In October, he made a comment about how he wanted kids and that I have "4-6 months left on birth control". I rebutted and said I needed a ring before I would let that happen, to which he responded that he had talked to his best friend about that. My heart fluttered. After nearly 4 years together, was he finally planning on proposing? I was so excited.

And then the tables turned. I lost my job, the principal claimed it was because "they were hiring a therapist and were going in a different direction" but she and I both knew the therapist wasn't going to be doing my job; she just didn't like my personality. Stephen and I had gotten into a fight a few days before this. And, somehow, when I came home and told him I got let go, there was a package waiting for me. Inside was a brand new Loungefly bag and matching wallet. I was shocked. He explained he had bought it because he felt bad about our recent fight and he knew he had messed up so this was his way of apologizing. It definitely made a shitty day better. It made me feel loved. For the first time, it felt like he cared about my love language. It felt amazing to have someone spoil me the way I spoil them.

November came around and I got new jobs; I got hired at Dunn Edwards as a lead thanks to a friend and I got hired at Torrid part time too. Things seemed to be looking up yet again. However, one day when I was in the kitchen, I noticed my spoon rest was chipped. I think this was before I got my jobs because I had a mental breakdown over it. It felt like nothing was going right at that time. He promised me he would buy me a new one.

Just one of the many promises that he would never fulfill.

At the beginning of December, my car got keyed. Stephen tried to buff them out and promised his friend would fix the rest. Another promise that was never fulfilled. We tried to press charges but the video footage was "too grainy". No witnesses meant nothing could be done. I lost my job at Torrid because I didn't show up that day. I called and told them I was waiting for the police but since I didn't say I wasn't coming in at all they took it as a no call no show and let me go. But it was fine. I got a job later that month at Disneyland again. We were so excited; we both knew working at Disneyland made me happy.

And I deserved to be happy after the rough time I'd had recently, right?