The Story of Us

To His Family

While I know they'll probably never see this, there is so much I wish I could say to his family. I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the one that has been on my mind the most.

Hi Dad.

I can't not call you dad. In the four years I was with your son, you supported me more than my real father did. I know I already said this, but thank you. You let me do laundry at your house and didn't actually expect me to use my own detergent. You fed me multiple times. And you showed up to my graduation. That's the one I will never forget. I don't think you know how much I appreciate you making the trek to Arizona alone just to see me graduate and come back home. You were there when my dad wasn't. I am eternally grateful for you. And I know you attempted to cheer me up when the break up happened. "These things happen". I don't think you realize the severity of this situation and the parts we played. I know you mentioned your divorces, but I hope you realize in this split, I am you and he's my Ileana. He isn't willing to fix what's broken. Don't even try to. I know he's your son and you'll support him no matter what, but I hope you realize that he didn't try. I really did love him more than I love myself. I was willing to do whatever it took to fix our relationship. He's the one who ran away. I will always have a special place in my heart for him. You will always have a dad title with me. I love you and it breaks my heart you're not my future father in law. Whoever Waylon ends up with is the luckiest girl in the world, if only because she has you as a father in law. Thank you again for filling that role for me.

Love,

Brittany

—————————————————————————

Hi Ronan,

I'm not sure what your family told you. I hope they didn't say anything mean. All I want to say to you is I loved you like you were my nephew. In my heart you were. I miss you and wish I would've gotten a chance to say goodbye to you and Chey. It sucks this happened so close to your birthday. Honestly, I had a gift already purchased and I was so excited to give it to you. I have no idea where it went in the shuffle that was me trying to move out of the place your tio and I shared. If I knew where it was, I would give it to your grandpa to give to you. I just want to say how much I love you and that I wish I had listened to your wise words sooner. Just a little over a year into my relationship with your tio, you asked me if I had any kids. I told you not yet, but once Tio and I get married we will have kids. And your response was "You're not going to marry tio." I was so confused and honestly worried. When I asked you "Why not?" You replied with, "what if you find someone better?" I was taken aback. Why would a child ever think that I would meet someone better than their uncle? I wish I would've listened to you back then. There's got to be someone better out there. As much as I would love to be your auntie Brittany forever, I know you're right. I know I will meet someone better who will be a better father to my children. I love you and I hope you're doing well.

Love,

"Auntie" Brittany

—————————————————————————

Dear Cheyenne,

Like I said to Ronan, I don't know what your family told you. I want to let you know I love you and that I'm sorry I wasn't there for your fifth birthday. It feels so weird to think that for your whole life I was your auntie Brittany. I started dating your tio when you were only a month old. It's so weird to think about it that way. You are five now. I wonder if you'll even remember the time you spent with me, or that auntie Brittany even existed. I want you to know I loved you and Ronan like you were my niece and nephew. It hurts that I didn't get to see you guys one more time. If I knew that the last time I saw you two was going to be the last time, I would've hugged you guys a little tighter and reminded you that auntie Brittany loves you.

Love,

"Auntie" Brittany

—————————————————————————

Hi Shally,

It's so weird to think about you. I still think of you as my sister in law and not my ex boyfriend's sister. Thank you for being there when I needed you, but maybe I shouldn't have listened to you telling me that I need to believe what your brother tells me. That's how I ended up with a ridiculously broken heart. I truly believed he loved me and that I was the only girl for him. I believed he was going to propose soon. Now look at me. I'm still trying to pick the pieces up 7 months later. On top of that, he stole my lamp. And when I asked for it back, or at least the money for the lamp, he said he wanted the money for the months of rent I didn't pay. Remember how I was supposed to believe him? If I didn't believe him, maybe he wouldn't have that "you owe me" mentality. The difference between him and I is that I regretted taking from him. You know that. But obviously he doesn't care about taking from me. He took all he could get from me. I hope you push him to get the help he needs and to keep working on himself. I know he probably paints me as the bad guy, but just know I was willing to work out whatever was going on between us. He wasn't. I hope you push him to become someone who is worthy of being a husband and a father. I love you and appreciate all you did for me.

Love,

Brittany

—————————————————————————

Hi Ileana,

I haven't thought much about what I would want to say to you. Part of me wants to call you out, tell you that you enabled him to not work those first few years of our relationship. You are also the one who taught him it's okay to give up, to run away. Steve still talks about how you are the one who got away. I pray I am Waylon's one that gets away. I thought I had commitment issues. Hopefully, if you ever see this, you realize it's not me. I know the second time we broke up, you looked over my medications and decided it was me; I am the problem. You offered me your home when I needed a place to go, but apparently that wasn't okay with your son. And that is why we broke up that time around. He continued to tell me he loved me more than anything yet at the same time would pull and run away from me. I want you to know that I considered you my Mother-in-law most of our relationship. I really thought you would be. Just know that I have talked to other girls Waylon has dated and they all miss you more than anything. So thank you for being one of the best parts of dating your son.

Love, 

Brittany 

—————————————————————————

AXEL!!!!

I saved the best for last, little buddy. You can't even read but I want to let it be known that the month I was your mommy was the best freaking month of my life. While you were just a bundle of chaos, the cuddles and the laughs you brought me make it worth it in hindsight. I feel awful that we didn't have time to really spend with you due to working schedules but you brought me so much happiness. And that was your job. I am sorry I couldn't take you with me, or fight your father for visitation. I want nothing more than to spoil you and remind you how much I love you. I miss you constantly.

I love you,

Brittany aka mom <3