Scars

21

                                         Aaradhya

Forlorn.

Miserable.

Solemn.

I hate feeling these emotions but I have been feeling this way from the last fourteen days of my life.

The only family I had told me she hates me.

“Where were you?” I ask Sasha as she made her way towards her room.

“At work” was her cut short reply.

“Till twelve thirty at night?” I ask getting worried.

“Why are you interrogating so much do you doubt me about anything?” she asks totally taking the conversation to a different tangent.

“Of course not di I was just worried for you” I clarify myself.

“You should be the last person getting worried about me aaradhya because everything wrong happening in my life is because of you” she states shocking me to the core.

“What do you”- I was about ask but she cut me off.

“You know how much I hate staying with you here every minute is like a torture. If it wasn’t for my own issues I would have left your clingy self a long ago” she continues.

“Do you realize how pathetic of a person you come across and you should be the last person to use words like concern and worry because you are the one who couldn’t even handle your relationship for two days, I wonder how hredhaan tolerated your irritating self” she speaks.

I didn’t tell her about this so that uses it to get back at me.

Please stop.

I can’t hear anymore.

I never realized I was clingy.

“Please ask my apologies to your date because it was me who kept pestering you to find someone so that you leave me the fuck alone” she almost yells at me.

“I have never hated anyone the way I hate you even my par”-

“Stop” she couldn’t complete as I yelled at her.

I couldn’t bear to look at her anymore because she felt like a lie and all those caring moments seemed fake to me.

Unable to stand there anymore I left for my room.

All these days I have been thinking what was my fault in all this?

Why is everyone around me throwing harsh words at me without realizing the effect it has on me?

If she had issues with me why she didn’t speak up all these years but pretended being a lovey dovey sister to me?

I isolate myself whenever something or someone hurts me.

I want to disappear like I never existed.

That’s how I am.

And that’s exactly what did.

I didn’t talk to anyone.

And I don’t want to either.

I hate people.

I hear a knock on my room disturbing my already disturbed thoughts.

It’s her.

Not again.