Read Between the Lines

Chapter 8: No smoothie cure

ANNTONIA's POV

She came back downstairs, stomping her feet hard on the floor when she realized the girl she'd had her eyes on for the whole night was already gone and she was more than just a little flustered. Her blood was boiling and her brain was on fire and the very person responsible for all of this was still somewhere upstairs, probably all smug for the reaction she'd just gotten out of her.

Oh, Goddamn it!!!

She couldn't believe herself. It was as if she'd left her whole self-control in shreds at the door when Michelle had dragged her inside that room. She'd been drunk before but she'd never been this dumb. But the girl's sudden jealousy had awoken something in her that she'd wanted to keep exploring. For some reason, she'd found that satisfying. She told herself it was because she'd just been proven right that she had, in fact, always wanted to get in her pants.

And yet, Michelle hadn't.

She'd given her the perfect occasion and perfect opportunity but she ended up to be the one to turn her down. At some point, she couldn't pretend like that hadn't stung her pride. Because at first, she had kissed her just to prove herself that she was right about her, but then, somewhere along the way, she realized how much she wanted that.

Her.

And there's a proof. She had allowed herself to get lost in the feeling of the girl's body against hers and give up control.

To him.

To Michelle.

Of all people. To fucking Michelle Dee!

But she's gonna be lying if she says she never loved every second of it. Because she fucking do. So much she wouldn't have stopped if the girl hadn't pulled herself away from her.

She remembered Michelle pulling her away from her and she wasn't used to it. She was usually the one who use or tease someone and walked away on her own terms before she could give them the opportunity to use her. She was the one who called the shots. And realizing what had happened, it terrified her to no end that she'd surrendered to another person so much just to be pushed away. The feeling felt bitter on the back of her tongue and it suddenly suffocated her.

This...

This was why she didn't trust people like Michelle Dee. This was why she didn't give herself away so easily. And the girl had been everything she'd expected, and then some.

Fuck! What an idiot I am to believe there was actually someone who's willing to be near me without an agenda. Everyone has a fucking agenda! She internally shouted.

So she coped how she knew best. Kylie was gone so she went to find the closest bottle of vodka and she danced it all off. She went out in the garden area of Max's house when now people are crowding and climbed up one of the table, chugging the bottle of alcohol, and dancing to whatever rhythm she heard that distracted her from the one of her own heart. The remaining cheerleaders and varsity players and whoever their pluses are, cheered for her and she really put on quite a show, shrugging off her jacket and throwing it to a poor guy with thick glasses who seemed to be tripping over his own tongue when she winked at him. She needed to remind herself she was still a goddess after that rejection. That she still had at least the illusion of control over the situation and that she hadn't left it back in that specific room upstairs.

Songs kept coming one after the other and somehow, people kept entertaining her as they danced with her.

Good. She thought.

Soon enough, the memory of Michelle Dee and what had just happened will become nothing but a blur and she no longer have to anything about it. Her body was made of music and booze and her brain was numb just the way it was supposed to be. Tomorrow, she'd worry about it. Tomorrow she could give the girl a piece of her mind and face the consequences. Tomorrow, she would feel all that she didn't want to feel tonight.