Ghost

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Disclaimer: This story centres around heavy topics of grief and regret.

But anyway, this story is an outlier of my works but it's also my child so do treat it nicely ;-;

As you'll see, some details of this story are kept ambiguous on purpose because I don't think those are the details that matter for what I'm writing.

     

     There is someone sleeping in the extra bed when Felix walks in. And the first thing he feels is dread.

     His dorm is claustrophobic enough when he's the only one living in it. The lights are never bright enough when he turns them on. During the daytime, trees crowd the field behind the small slidable screen at the back of the dorm, casting a strange shadowed glow throughout the dorm, little flurries of sunlight scattered in the room in a pathetic attempt to make up for the dimness. Felix never quite feels like it's morning when he wakes up.

     And now, someone else is sharing this joy of a dorm room.

     Felix sighs in resignment as he goes to unpack his textbooks onto his desk. He's known this was going to happen for a few weeks now, and come to think of it, he should have tried to savour the peace, the only gift this room gives him. Now even that is gone.

     Felix takes out his phone. The first thing he notices is ten missed calls. That's ten less than yesterday. The second thing he notices is the time. Felix frowns.

     8 pm. It's too early to sleep, yet that's the first thing this new dorm dweller has chosen to do. A long journey? Jetlag? No, that makes no sense, he's been told his new roommate is simply switching to residential living from his own house.

     Felix's eyes shift towards the bed. Blankets bury whoever is underneath. Felix briefly worries that they'll suffocate and briefly wonders if he should gently pull the blanket back. He casts the brief thoughts away. He may not love this new arrangement, but he'll leave his new roommate be.

     And he'll be hospitable too. With a heavy sigh, Felix turns off the lights in the room. He rolls his chair towards his desk and spins it around a few times; a rare pleasure since this room clearly offers none, and opens his textbook before turning on his desk light for homework.

     It isn't bright enough. It never is.


     Felix wakes up too early for comfort.

     He studied late into the night on a single light and his brain is overstimulated. It's mundane, tedious work, but Felix is always able to keep his end goal in mind. At least, he thinks he has a goal. It's getting all too easy to lose where he's going these days.

     He could go chill in one of the university's coffee shops until his morning lecture or... he could bake something for breakfast. The thought brings just a ghost of a smile to his face. He never manages to wake up early enough for the luxury.

     Felix's specific residence has a communal kitchen for use of the students. It's a tiny space, often occupied by other students who get there earlier, but it's finally empty today for Felix's use. He's thinking scones. To be fair, he's always thinking scones but today, it's time to act on the thought.

     The lights aren't quite bright enough in the kitchen either but Felix finds himself guided by the smell of chocolate and brown sugar. As he pours a bit extra of the latter, he realizes he might have overdone it. Felix pauses for a moment, before shrugging and adding more. With the mood he's been in these days, he'll probably hardly notice.

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