Empires SMP oneshots

Spirit animals

           Grian whistled to himself as he flew around the server, looking for someone to bother. He was flat out bored, and he couldn't find Jimmy. Suddenly, he spotted the tiny figure alongside a couple other emperors and a hermit or two. He grinned and flew down, landing as silently and as close to Jimmy as possible. Then he tapped the sheriff's shoulder, making him jump and shriek. "Grian!" Jimmy yelled. "How'd you know it was me?" Grian asked. "Habit." 

           "Hi, Grian," Cleo said. Behind her, fWhip the goblin waved, and so did Scott of Chromia; outrageously colorful as usual. Grian made a mental inventory of who was there; Jimmy, Cleo, fWhip, Scott, Pirate Joe, Scar, and Joe Hills. Then Grian noticed the last figure standing among them, slightly off to the side. She wore a purple hood and purple cloak, black veils, and a sapphire-studded gold pendant hung from her neck. She eyed him meticulously. "Uh, who are you?" Grian asked. He was sure that he knew all the emperors by now. 

           "I am Mystic Mary," The figure said, and despite her mysterious way of speaking, Grian realized it was just Lizzie. He laughed, and saw Pirate Joe and Joe Hills look at what he was laughing at. The pirate glowered at Lizzie in her disguise. "You again. Don't you dare try to scam me again, I know better this time!" Then, ignoring the strange cat lady, "Also, what's your name again, hermit?" "Joe Hills," Joe said. The pirate wrinkled his nose. "But that's my name." "Oh. What a coincidence." "This is going to cause some confusion." "Maybe you could just leave," Mystic Mary said. "Maybe I will," Pirate Joe huffed, and with a flap of his elytra, he was off. Joe Hills glanced at him flying away. "Eh, I think I'll be going too. I think I left something in Sanctuary. I'll check on you later, fortune teller." He was soon gone as well. 

           "Fortune teller?" Grian shot a double take at Lizzie, who nodded. "Yeah, she's a fortune teller. She had a stall in the rift festival before you guys joined." Scott said. "She's not telling fortunes now, though, she just showed up and asked us if we wanted to know what our spirit animal was." Cleo added. "Spirit animal?" Grian said, intrigued. Maybe he could postpone annoying Jimmy for a little bit, just for this. "Pirate Joe's been saying that she scammed him, like a lot, though," Jimmy pointed out. 

           "I am not scamming you now, if I have ever scammed anyone," Mystic Mary said, suddenly sitting at a table that had appeared from somewhere. No one had any idea how it got there. "Take a seat, and answer my questions. Then I can tell you what your spirit animal is." "How much?" fWhip asked. "Are your services still free?" "Of course," Lizzie purred. "Now, would you like to go first?" "I'll go first," Scott volunteered, and he sat down on a chair that had also come out of nowhere. Cleo looked at Grian, who just shrugged. Empires SMP was a weird server, but then again, it wasn't like Hermitcraft was normal.

           "Look into my crystal ball with me," Mystic Mary began, tapping the ball with her claws. "Let your mind wander as you contemplate who you are, and pay close attention to the signs." The two of them stared at the glowing ball for a few minutes, and then after a bit, Lizzie began to make funny noises. "Ah, that's interesting. Very interesting." "Yes?" Scott asked, sounding slightly bored. "I see feathers. Blue feathers. I know what your spirit animal is." "What is it?" Jimmy asked curiously. "The color blue, the temptation to migrate mysteriously, the cleverness of a raven, the tendency to steal and hoard... Scott, your spirit animal is a blue jay." Scott looked mildly happy with his result. "I honestly expected a llama." 

           "Your spirit animal is not always the one you spend the most time with," Lizzie explained. "Now, who's next?" "Me!" Grian sat down before being asked to. Mystic Mary chuckled. "An eager client. I like those. Now, stare into the crystal ball with me." Grian did as he was told, and found it very easy to let his mind wander. After a bit, Lizzie smiled. "Ah, the result is obvious. The ruddy red, the mischievousness, the trickery, the ability to cause harm, the creature of chaos, the omen to take action... Grian, you are a red fox." Grian was fine with the result. For a supposed scammer, his spirit animal made sense. Or maybe Lizzie was just guessing, she was smart in her own way. But whether Mystic Mary was real or not, this was still pretty fun.

           "My turn," Cleo said, pushing Grian out of the chair and sitting in it herself. She glanced into the crystal ball without having to be asked and within a minute Lizzie had her proclamation. "The motherly instincts, the symbolism of life and death, and the symbolism of balance and harmony, the clockwork schedules and habits, even the zombie state... it all points to your spirit animal, Cleo, of the salmon." "I'm a salmon?" Cleo blinked. "What?" Lizzie said, dropping her fancy mystic talk for a few seconds. "Salmon have a clockwork schedule, like I said. And they're really parental if you think about it; I mean they go upstream to lay their eggs even though they know the journey will kill them. I mean, there's a reason zombie salmon exist. And the life and death symbolism fit you. You're undead." "Wait, zombie salmon?" 

           Scar's spirit animal was a cat, much to his delight, and Jimmy got a canary, which he had no idea why. Grian and Cleo knew, of course. They were both in the Life Series. fWhip got an ant, which, according to Lizzie, was because of how he spent most of his time underground and how ants were basically miners as well. "And there's something else about gold-digging ants but I can't seem to remember what it was... Eh, if I forgot about it, it's not important. Now, on to important things. Would you like to become your spirit animal for a day?" Grian thought his interest couldn't be any more piqued. He was wrong. "Really?" He asked. Mystic Mary smiled and pulled out a strange wand from her pocket. It was made of silver, inlaid with semiprecious stones, glittering with flecks of emerald green. Scott stared at it, his yellow eye gleaming. "That thing's actually enchanted." 

           "Of course it is," Lizzie said. "Now, when I tap your head with this wand, you will turn into your spirit animal. After twenty four hours, you will revert back to your normal form. And I can lend its use to any of you just for the low, low price of five diamonds each." "Joe was right. You are a scammer," Scott grumbled, but he was still staring at the necklace. Grian fished five diamonds out of his pocket. He had so many ideas how he could cause mischief and mayhem as a fox for a whole day. Jimmy, Scott, and Scar also took out some diamonds, though Scar had to lend Jimmy one. Cleo and fWhip left. They didn't fancy the idea of being stuck as a salmon and an ant for a whole day. Lizzie grinned as she pocketed the money, and one by one she tapped the four of them with her wand. And one by one they transformed. "Have fun. Now, spirits, call me away!" Mystic Mary looked skyward and she vanished. 

           Pix whistled to himself as he passed by Tumble Town, then stopped as he noticed Jimmy wandering nearby, looking utterly spent and miserably. "Are you okay, sheriff?" "I was a canary for a whole day yesterday and I was being chased by a cat, a fox, and a blue jay who all knew how to set up tnt traps," Jimmy groaned, holding his stomach. "And I ate some raw seeds. I don't think I was supposed to do that." 

           All Pix could do was walk away in bewilderment and amazement that this already crazy server could have gotten even crazier.