I woke up this morning alone and I'm kinda glad that's the case. I can already tell that this one of those days where I'm gonna get my ass kicked by my head. I've just had issues my whole life but I bury them. I don't talk to really anyone. Look at Alex and Gionna for example. Alex and I have known eachother since we were little kids and all he knows is some days are days where you treat me like a ghost. You don't talk to me. You don't look at me. You don't breathe in my direction and you damn sure don't touch me. Gionna has known me for about 6 years now. We met on her first day at the pc and have been stuck like glue ever since. All she knows is that I miss my brother and my uncle Layne and the only reason she knows that much is because for some reason I've just always had this massive soft spot for her. Almost like I was born with it. When she looks at me with those blue eyes, I'm mush.
Anyway I get up and get dressed. I walk to the couch before sitting on it in a little ball. I turn on the TV and pull up YouTube before finding the Alice In Chains "Dirt" album and hitting shuffle. I just stay like that until the album is over before switching over to the "Jar Of Flies" EP. After "Rotten Apple" wraps up Gionna along with "Mami Mella" as Alex calls her and the boy wonder walk in. Mella goes to greet me before she's stopped by Alex and Gio.
Leah: Hey J-
Alex/Gionna: STOP!
Leah: What? Why?
Alex: He's in one of those moods.
Leah: What moods?
Alex: Babe J has issues. He's been through a lot in his life and so emotionally he has issues. He has good days and bad days. You've seen him on his good days now you're seeing a bad one. I've grown up with him so I know what a really bad one looks like and this is one of them. On these days you have to treat him like a ghost.
Leah: What do you mean?
Alex: Basically ignore him. Don't look at him, don't talk to him, don't even breathe in his direction and whatever you do don't touch him. If you do any of the things I said don't do, things happen.
Leah: Like what?
Alex: Bad things. Like one time we were at school, this was in like junior year so before he left to go back to Miami. This happened during football season and J was the Quaterback of the varsity squad. This kid ran up on him, pushed him to see if he was hyped for the game right? J was having a bad day so when the kid touched him, J hit him as hard as he could and broke the kids jaw and his hand in 2 places. Then later that year on his birthday this girl wished him a happy birthday and he cussed her out for about 15 minutes. He won't hurt a girl physically because of a promise he made but he has no issue cutting a promo on one if they set him off. There's only one that's safe from everything no matter how bad he is.
Leah: Who?
Alex points over to Gionna.
Gionna: Me.
Leah: Why are you the only safe one?
Gionna: I don't really know.
Leah: Do you know why baby?
Alex: I don't know either. She's just always been safe. Honestly I think she stole his heart. She's always been able to do whatever she wants to him no matter his mood.
Gionna looked over at me. She walked over to the couch and laid down on her back with her legs spread and her knees up because I'm only taking up one cushion. She then got my attention.
Gionna: Puddin, look at me.
I raised my head and looked over at her before she patted her chest. I knew what she wanted and even though I really didn't want to be touched, I did want Harley cuddles so I stretched out and laid down with my head on her chest. She put her hands on my head with her right resting on the side and her left in my hair. She leaned down and kissed the top of my head before saying something.
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Gionna: Sweet boy.
Her actions caused me to cuddle more into her and leave a little kiss on her perfect stomach.
Leah: Wow that's so sweet.
Gionna: He's always been like this with me.
Alex: I'm scared to say anything.
I finally chime in.
Me: It's a free country Kyd. Go ahead. I'm pretty calm right now and there's not a snowballs chance in hell I'm moving from this spot.
Alex: Ok thanks bro. You're his person GiGi.
Leah: What do you mean she's "his person"?
Alex: You remember those nights he almost killed Enzo and her last boyfriend?
Leah: Yeah?
Alex: Do you know what stopped him?
Leah: No.
Gionna: I did.
Leah: How?
Gionna: When J gets mad enough he kinda blacks out but I've always been able to bring him back. I think when he knows it's me touching him or he hears my voice, it calms him.
Me: She's my Xanax.
Gionna let out a little giggle before leaning down and kissing my head.
Gionna: Always and forever Puddin.
The Munsters, I mean Alex and Leah stayed for a while before leaving to do god knows what. I was afraid to ask so I let that sleeping dog lie. I pretty much laid on Gio until we went to bed then we shared a kiss and I laid on her again.
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Gionna: Goodnight Daddy. I love you so much. You're gonna get through this, I know you will. I believe in you.
Me: Goodnight Princess. I love you and thank you.
She kissed my head as she played with my hair and I was out like a light.
Y'all leave me alone, sometimes a man needs to be babied. Nah I'm only kidding. Man I think that's the first time I've ever heard that and of course it came from her. God she just doesn't know not only how much I love her but how much I needed that.
