My Dear Superstar

8-Accepting Truths

NANON

"Non..Did you thought it through. It's not that easy like it says."Chimon said to me.Yes I know it's difficult and it can even ruin my fame.But when you have to choose between heart and fame I will definitely choose my heart which is now only have the thought of Ohm.

"Are you my friend or not.You know you are supposed to help me not give me a lecture."I said frustratingly.its been 2 days straight. I am hearing the same words from Chi along with Namtan.I know they are worried about me, but can't they accept what I really want.

"What If this is just an obsession and after everything you will regret then it will not be good for him you know.As of now I think he got enough eventhough I don't know what happened in his life."Namtan said.

"Hey Namtan, I really thought about this all.And I know about the consequences. I know it's not an easy decision like this.I know the consequences will turn worst.But I can't control my feelings towards him.I really love him.I really love Ohm.Thats final."I said with a serious tone.

"Okay.Then what will you do? One day, he gets pregnant with your own baby."Chimon asked.This is the thing I only had in my mind since I heard the truths from that bastard Nani.I didn't get the answer yet.Can I really accept a kid?I don't hate kids iam afraid about harming them.I can't really take care of kids.I find them annoying not because I'm irritated about them but because iam afraid what if I do something wrong to them as I did with my brother's kid.

"Non.. I know you are not prepared for it.But its life sometime the unwanted things happen so fastly and we can't help anything about that.I really advise you to think this enough. Don't get into a conclusion only with your heart. Also, use your brain, too."Chimon said, patting my shoulder . He got up from the seat and walked out.Namtan gave me an assuring smile.

"Don't worry, na friend.Whatever your decision, we will be there to support you. Don't rush.Things like this have to take some time. "Namtan said, leaving a confused and blank me in there.

I was in deep thought someone touched my shoulder.

"Non.."It was my mom.She smiled at me, not the fullest, because all her charm and smile vanished a few years ago already.I couldn't look at her without feeling guilty because I was the reason of ruining their happiness. She was a social butterfly until her grandchild died, and it was because of me, the most careless person in the world.

"Mom.. Do you need anything?"I asked her, giving her some space to sit on the couch.

"I was just here to check on you.Recently, you seemed so restless and didn't come home that much.Jimmy asked about you, naa."Hearing that name made a pain in my heart.

"Did he come back . P'Sea also with him?"I asked her.iam not yet ready to meet them.Its been 5 years, and everything happened, I can't help but not think about all those mistakes again and again.

"Don't you want to meet me, brother ?or did you forget me with the fame you have now."I know who that voice belongs to.i tried to smile at him, but only tears are falling from my eyes.

"Hey Non.. Are you crying ? "P'Jimmy asked me while coming towards me.He hugged me.I really missed his warmth it's been 5 years since I couldn't get to meet him . He went to the USA with P'Sea.I still remember the days of us.I sobbed laying in his chest. There are no words coming out.

"It's okay Non..Its not your fault. Stop with the blame you already wasted 5 years blaming yourself and keeping all to yourself."it was P'sea who came and hugged me with P'jimmy.

After a long crying and complete, we talked it out .We had a lot to catch up on.It felt like before our silly fights and laughs were coming back .Mom and Dad were too calm seeing their sons back to normal.I felt their smiles were back but not completely.Some wounds can't be healed right.Wave is like that, our little princess.