Maybe, You Will See Me Now

024

Again, Ijeawele glanced at the cafeteria's entrance. Finally, there was the sight of familiar faces. The two people Andrew usually ate with walked in. Ijeawele stared longer for any sign of him but there was none. A light crease appeared momentarily between her brows. She watched the two people pick up a tray, get served and head to a table.

"Ijeawele." Radha, her colleague called one more time and this time, it was enough to cause Ijeawele to redirect her gaze back to her.

"Yes."

Radha stared at her a little longer without saying a word.

"Are you expecting someone?" She asked.

Ijeawele simply stared at her and struggled to say the word no. Because the truth was a yes. She was yet to completely admit it to herself. Ever since she stood Andrew up the other evening, she had trouble sleeping. Was it her guilty conscience or did she genuinely care? Ijeawele struggled to find a reason. But one thing was clear. She felt quite uncomfortable. Maybe if she saw him once with a smile on his face then she would feel better. Less guilty.

But, where was he? She didn't see him all morning. Ijeawele had agreed to join Radha for lunch because she thought she might get to see him.

"You are. You're waiting for that young man, aren't you?" Radha asked and pushed a few strands of her black wavy hair behind her ear. She scooped some of the jollof rice on her plate into her mouth. A light grin appeared at the corner of face while she chewed and steadied her gaze on her friend.

"What man?" Ijeawele feigned ignorance.

Radha narrowed her eyes on her. "Like you don't know. I have eyes, okay?"

Ijeawele stole a glance at the table Andrew's colleagues were at because she couldn't help herself.

"I don't think he's eating here today."

Ijeawele raised her brows at her for a second. She cut a piece from the fried fish tail on her plate and used the fork in her hand to carry it into her mouth.

"You're not denying anything." Radha pointed out.

"There's nothing to accept or deny." Ijeawele finally spoke up after she was done chewing.

Radha's smile grew a little wider on her face. "I know you. So, of course I don't expect you to confirm or deny what I said." She drank down a bit of her water. "I'm just happy there's something different going on with you. You're finally moving on."

Ijeawele blinked and said nothing in reply. She didn't think she had anything to say to that. Mostly because her last words struck her and remained in a loop in her head. You're finally moving on.

Has she? Ijeawele hadn't taken notice but she no longer felt as deeply intense and hate filled as she felt in the past two years. Was the distraction that Andrew presented the reason why?

Just as quietly as Ijeawele drew in a deep breath, the same way she released it.

In her office, Ijeawele leaned back and stared at the ceiling. She had been that way for a while. Her thoughts were annoyingly distractive today. She shouldn't care this much. It didn't make sense. Every time she told herself Andrew didn't mean that much to her. But she was realising maybe he did mean something to her.

Didn't he come in today? Ijeawele wondered. She was yet to get a glimpse of him which was quite unusual. Somewhere along the line, the new norms became seeing him twice or thrice in a day. In the past, she didn't notice if he was there. Now that she was aware of him, that changed.

Ijeawele walked towards the water dispenser on her floor. On getting closer, she slowed down her steps until she came to a stop. She thought for a second. Suddenly, she turned and headed right for the stairs.