Maybe, You Will See Me Now

025

She maintained eye contact with Andrew. This time, she was ready to spell it out for him. The earlier he knew what a terrible person she was and could be, the better for him.

"I stood you up, on purpose." Ijeawele added and waited to see if there was a reaction or expression from him. There was none. Somehow, it allowed her to keep going.

"I think you're a nice man. You've been gentle and kind to me." She let out a soft sigh. Her lips parted a little to say something but they closed almost right away. Ijeawele knew what she wanted to tell him. But she didn't know why it was seeming too hard for her to say.

"My divorce was... it was hard for me. So, I don't think I ever want to give another man the chance to repeat the same thing." Quietly, she sucked in a deep breath. This time, her gaze on him had begun wavering and she was looking elsewhere whenever she could. She didn't necessarily have to tell him this. Still, Ijeawele felt she needed to, especially after realising she might be falling for him. If she couldn't stop herself then maybe he would help her by disappearing on her.

Ijeawele waited and hoped he would say something. Anything for her to understand where his head was at. The waitress arrived and placed each of their plates of white rice and stew on the table in front of them. Andrew reached onto the tray and picked up the spoons before the waitress could. While he stretched his hand with the spoon to her, the waitress walked away.

Ijeawele looked at him somewhat confused. He was acting like he didn't hear anything she just said. She accepted the spoon from him.

"It's a terrible thing what you went through." Andrew started while he stirred a small portion of his white rice and stew. "I would never wish for the same thing to repeat for you." He added and played with a simple smile.

Although his words were comforting, Ijeawele felt like he didn't quite understand what she was getting at.

"Andrew... You understand that I'm trying to tell you not to say things like 'let's have dinner' or 'let's go on a date', anymore. Right?"

"I said those words to you because I wanted to know you better."

She furrowed her brows at him. "Why?" Ijeawele felt slightly irritated with the fact that he was taking their conversation lighter than she would've preferred. Had he taken it a bit more intense then it would be the end and she could get over him and move on.

"If it's because of work and you're trying to make friends with the higher ups then, I give you a thumbs up. You can move on to the next person. We don't have to maintain a relationship outside work."

Now, Andrew was still, staring at her.

He wasn't stupid. He knew what she was trying to get out of him. She wanted some kind of reaction. One that would be enough to terminate whatever little thing they had going on between them. On one end, she acted like he was a thorn in her flesh and on the other end, she was taking the time to sit with him and share a meal. Andrew didn't know if he'd somehow found a way into her heart but his gut was telling him he has. Ijeawele wouldn't be here if that wasn't so. She mentioned her divorce and how broken it left her. Andrew understood she was being wary. Nobody would like to repeat the past, especially the hurtful part. It seemed like being straight forward might be the best solution. But more than anything, he feared that might chase her away really quickly.

Ijeawele watched as he flashed her a brief, simple smile and he lowered his eyes to his food. Andrew began eating. She waited for a word from him. He said nothing and didn't till even after he was done with his meal. Ijeawele barely ate up all of hers.

The only time he said something to her after that was when she tried to pay the bill but he told her he'd already done that. His behaviour was slowly eating away at her. Ijeawele couldn't tell if he was upset or okay.