Realizations

Chapter 9

Entry # 43

A lot has changed and unlike this time, most of the change has been for the better. Where do I even begin? Let's get the bad part out of the way and over with first. Since my mom gave Bill the divorce papers, Bill and his side of the family have been sending me nonstop texts about how I destroyed this family and ruined their marriage, about how I'm a freak, that I need help to see the error in my ways and thinking, and what I'm doing is wrong.

It got to the point where I blocked all of them. Then when I told mom, she went out and got my number changed so that way if they texted me from another number, I wouldn't get them. Once the divorce is finalized, I will never have to see them again. Until then, I still have to deal with them. They are still trying to convince mom that she is in the wrong and that I need help and Bill is trying to convince Rodrik to see his way and come live with him.

Something that hasn't changed and has remained the same for the worse is football practice, especially when Kaitlyn's new friends returned to school after their suspension ended. They no longer physically bullied me but they would still taunt and throw insults at me every now and then. During practice the o-line refuses to defend me and all the receivers don't try to get open which causes me to run for my life every play. Or I should say this, they try hard enough for the coach not to get mad enough to pull them.

And the last thing is that I still haven't talked to Kaitlyn. Hey in my defense she hasn't made an effort to even talk to me and it's not for a lack of trying either. Kaitlyn has gone out of her way to make sure that I can't talk to her at school because she makes sure she is always with at least one of her friends. Every time I call Kaitlyn it goes to voicemail and when I send her a text she leaves me on read or responds with she can't or she's busy. At this point I've given up and have stopped trying. If I can catch her cool, if not then also cool. Although it would be nice to be able to talk to her one more time to get everything off my chest and tell her how I really feel.

Now that we have the bad news out of the way, let's move on to everything good. After being able to reflect on the fact that mom is divorcing Bill, I'm happy. At first I felt bad and blamed myself, but now I realize that when mom said she would always be on my side she meant it and honestly it's nice that mom chose me over Bill. Now that mom has officially kicked Bill out of the house, I don't have to worry about when he would be returning home and how long he would be here and then have to walk around on eggshells and pretend to be someone I wasn't.

Speaking of stepping up and having my back, Rodrik has done just that. Ever since the day that he saved me from getting beat up by my team, he always makes sure to be there after practice ends so that way they can't try anything. Since Rodrik also plays football and plays the position of quarterback, he has been working with me and giving me pointers. He brings me along with him on his morning runs and to the gym. Since I don't hangout with Kaitlyn anymore, I'm always with Rodrik and sometimes his friends.

Another thing, since my teammates refuse to defend me during practice and leave me on my own to defend myself, I have improved my stamina, my ability to hold onto the ball, being quick on my feet, and figuring out tricks that help me avoid getting tackled and the people that are trying to tackle me. Coach is even impressed by how much I have improved. Even during games if and when we start to pull ahead of the other team, they will at least once during our possession of the ball will let the defense line through to tackle me. I mean it sucks, but on the other hand because I'm usually running for my life, it makes me look better.

And the final piece of good news is that my mom is looking at new houses, which means we are moving. Normally I wouldn't be too happy or excited about moving, but in this case I'm excited and looking forward to the future. It means Bill and his family won't know where I live anymore. I finally get to transfer schools, get away from everyone, and have a fresh start freshman year. New opportunities without everyone knowing that I'm trans. I won't be surrounded and be reminded of everything bad that has happened to me this year.

I can't wait to start the new chapter of my life as Ryker Quill. I can't believe I almost forgot the best part. My mom is working on getting me on hormone blockers and T. She is also looking into doctors for my surgeries. I will no longer hate my body or feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Well that's everything, until next time Ryker Quill out.

Thanks for reading.  What did you think?  What do you think will happen next?  What do you want to happen next?  As always votes and comments are appreciated.