The Selection

Chapter 4: Hazel eyes

It's been a couple days since I filled out my application but more importantly it's been the same amount of time since I've seen Madden.

No one dwelled on the fact Madden was over here at midnight because frankly he was a hero in the situation. I expected him to come to my window at nights but he never came. I missed his touch, his voice and even his scent. I couldn't sneak in his house because he shared a room with his younger brother although this situation has me tempted. Was he angry with me? Or just angry at the situation we're facing?

Today was picture day for the selection which honestly made me a nervous wreck. You see, I've never been the girl to have boys chasing after her. I'm also not the girl who would own a dress. I stared in my closet which held two dresses. A sundress covered in little yellow flowers and a red dress I had worn when I got baptized at age thirteen. It definitely wouldn't fit now, I'd grown in more places then my height since then.

Striding down the stairs, I turned the corner to the hallway that ended in my parents room. The door was slightly ajar so I peeked in. My mother was curled up in fetal position, staring out the window by her bed.

"Mom?" I asked, tiptoeing to her bed.

"Darling.."

"Today is picture day for the Selection," I began but she held her hand up to stop me.

"Ember, you don't have to do this for me. You don't have to do it for Caroline," she said,"The Selection is something that will always stay with you."

"I'm not guaranteed to get picked," I whispered.

She scoffed, closing her eyes, "If only you knew."

My mother looked tired, stressed even. She looked as though, if her eyes were opened another second they would pop out of her head. Her eyes had bags that were so deep, she probably hasn't slept since she gave birth. She gave out a long sigh and stood up, walking slowly over to her closet. She spread apart her day clothes and reached in the back until her hands closed around a black bag. She tossed it on the bed.

"Open it," she told me and as I did, gold ruffles flowed out. She knew I was looking for a dress, but how could I take one so elegant. More importantly, why does she have one so elegant.

"Mom," I said, stunned. Keeping my eyes on the dress, I asked, "How?"

"It's something old that I kept," she told me, "Do you really want to do this Em?"

I picked up the dress and walked over to sit by my mothers side. I busied myself by running my fingers over the gold sparkles on the bust of the dress.

"Yes, I really want to do this," I lied.

"But you love him."

Without defining who 'him' was, I knew she meant Madden. It was true, I loved him and I'm concerned by how obvious that was to her. But this wasn't about him, or Prince Gabriel, or even my mother. It was about Caroline. It was about giving her a life. How could anyone look at her face of innocence and not want to strive to help her? It wasn't a task, it was a goal.

I shrugged my shoulders to her in return and stood to exit. I laid the dress over my arm, careful that it wouldn't touch the ground.

"Ember," my mother said as I was opening the door. I turned to look in her tear filled eyes, "I'm very, very proud of you but you don't know what you're getting yourself in too," I didn't know what she meant by that but her saying she was proud of me was the nicest thing she has ever said to me. I gave her a weak smile and turned to leave.

I went to the bathroom and didn't bother brushing through my natural curls. I let them fall down my back. Then, I put a touch of mascara on that was only supposed to be used for gigs. I looked simple and like myself. If I were to get picked, I wanted to let the prince know that he wasn't going to change me in my short stay.

I went to my room to put on my dress then went back to the bathroom to check myself in the mirror.

Now, I may be biased but I think I looked breathtaking. For the first time in my life, I felt beautiful. The dress was tight in the mid section, hugging to my curves. Then flowed in long waves past my feet. This dress had to of cost a fortune and I idly wondered how my mother could've afforded such a dress.

"You look simply amazing," Madden said. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. This time, I couldn't argue.

"I need to be getting to the town square," I told him. Pushing past him, I grabbed my little silver heels and made my way downstairs.

"May I walk you?" He asked.

I didn't answer but I'm guessing he took that as a yes, when he trailed behind me.

"Look, Ember," he began and then paused. Trying to find the right words, it seemed, "I know I came off as mad the other day."

I scoffed at his attempt to apologize.

"I know, I know. I was mad. But, I'm proud of you for this."

"Why is everyone proud of me? It's not that big of a deal," I said.

"Em, you're going to get picked. You know that," he told me as we made it out my front door.

"Why haven't you come to see me in the past two days?" I asked. It genuinely hurt me that he could go so long without seeing me or talking to me... or kissing me.

He didn't answer right away and he didn't even look in my direction when he finally answered.

"I'm hurt Em. I know this isn't about him," he said with disgust as if Prince Gabriel had betrayed him in a past life. "And that's why I'll come to terms with it. But you have to promise me something."

"Anything," I answered too quickly.

"When you do get there, please don't kiss him," he pleaded. "Your lips are mine and mine only."

He made my heart sink. Of course my lips were only his. But my heart sank for two reasons. One, Madden is the absolute sweetest. And two, he's the second person telling me that of course I'd get picked. My mother being the first. Why exactly am I "of course" going to be picked?

Every girl in the town square had a dress on apart from the 6's and 7's who could never afford one. Most of them were either jabbering about how cute the prince is or how much they wanted to be picked. It made me sick. I also noticed that everyone came with their mothers. Why hasn't my mother wanted to come? She wasn't hurting anymore and she was perfectly capable of walking here with me. Instead, I looked out of place. It made me feel disgusted that Madden was standing by me.

"Madden, can you maybe go over there and stand? This is sort of a girl thing." I told him. He looked wounded but got the hint and sat on a bench away from the scene.

I stood in line for some time, watching girl by girl sit in front of a large camera to have her picture taken. All putting on their most beautiful smile and twinkling eyes. I secretly looked in a direction no one was and practiced my own smile that I used on gigs. It had taken at least 30 minutes for me to get to the front of the line and when I sat to take my picture, something caught my eye. It was Madden's hazel eyes.. filled with joy.. while surrounded by beautiful girls in gorgeous dresses. Brody stood behind him, his arm wound around one of the beautiful girls waist. I watched as a brunette, sat next to Madden, her leg brushing his. She said something to him and both him and Brody burst out laughing. She laid his hand on his and it hurt me when Madden didn't pull away. I knew this girl was a four and I knew she would definitely be someone Madden's mom would approve of. I immediately felt alone. My mom and dad were always distant, we never really felt like a family. And more then ever Madden feels just as distant. Call me crazy because it's only been two days but you know when you're other half is shying away. I tore my eyes from them and looked down.

"Smile, miss," the photographer got my attention. I looked in the camera and gave him the most fake smile I could've possibly brewed together. Then, I turned the opposite way of Madden and his fan club and made my way home, undetected.

My eyes filled with tears. How could he expect me to go to the Kingdom and stay faithful if he couldn't stay faithful right in front of me? I don't know what hurt worse. The fact that he was enjoying that girl's company or if it was that he was enjoying them so much, he hadn't realized I had left.