Hope Eternal

8 Hope not.

The sun is warm on your face as you walk around one of your favourite districts, all the little stalls and the scents and colours. Your tensions are leaving. You and Nicole talk candidly about your recent court appearance. How DJ is a dick. How, even now, he needs someone else to look after him. It's pathetic, but now you can laugh about it. You're free of him, and you can fully move on. "The F.A. asked if I wanted to sell the apartment, but I've decided to set up a plan so that the family living there can buy it for themselves. They should be able to make it their forever home. The way it should have been for me." There's a horn blasting, and it makes you both squeal and burst into a fit of giggles. How good it feels to laugh with your friend. Nicole's phone beeps. "Ah shit, I have to head to the office. I need to sign some paperwork to do with visas. I know it's a lot to ask, but would you like to come with me?"

>brain, yeah, go with her. She has an errand to run. You can then continue your mates' day out.

>heart, wait, no, what if he's there. what if she's trying to trick you. No, she wouldn't do that. She loves you.

>brain, you could go and wait outside. That way, there's no chance you will bump into him.

>Heart, if you don't go in, it shows weakness. Yes, we did wrong, but so did he. We can't feel ashamed any longer.

"Hey, I wouldn't ask if I thought he was going to be there! I'm not that cruel. " Nicole can see your inner struggle, and continues " you still love him, if you didn't, you wouldn't panic at the thought of seeing him looking like that", giggling, She stops and holds your shoulders, "listen to me, you don't need to come with me, I can get there and back by a car in 30minutes, you wait here." she makes a call for a car. "No, you know what? I will come. I've never been in the Hybe building. It's on my bucket list." Yeah, why should you hide. "What's wrong with the way I look?" You know she's just playing.

With dragons fluttering in your belly instead of butterflies, you get out of the car. The driver has taken you to the parking garage behind the building. With a steading breath, you walk arm in arm with Nicole towards the elevators. Your hands are sweaty and cold. It feels like your heart is hammering a hole through your ribs in an attempt to escape. "I will be as fast as i can, ok?" Nicole looks worried. She's commented on your pale face and panicked look. "If you will feel better, you can wear a face mask and glasses here." She fishes out the worst disguise for you, but you put it on anyway. Laughing as you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. You feel calmer but still nervous. 'What if he has come into the company today?' It would be nice to see him, but from a distance.

Nicole's office is beautiful. It's light and has soft coloured cushions on the cream sofa. The floors are a light pine colour, and she has pictures of her family on the wall facing her desk. There are a few famous faces too. People she has worked with or met in the industry. "Have you spotted anyone you know?" she asks, seeing you look at the photos. She walks over, taking one frame off of the wall and hands you it. It is a picture of the members, her and you. It was taken before you left for the airport back in northern Europe. "Back when life was just getting started." she sighs. Looking at the happy faces, it feels like a lifetime ago. "Cole, you are sure no one is here?" You're still worried, "Huni, I'm not going to spring him on you like that. I know how that feels. I also know what it feels like to have that fear that they will be around the next corner. I promise no ones here. " The floor did look abandoned when you got out of the elevator. "Go take a walk around. The guys are out filming on location, so there's only float staff here. The ones who do paperwork and maintenance" feeling brave you ask her where the staff fridge is. She points you in the direction of the staff kitchen. "its the white fridge with the Anpanman sticker on it, the big bosses put it there, saying the staff are the real superhero's of the company" She looks back to her computer screen, "where is this file, oh if your feeling brave or bold, his studio is the 3rd door on the right of the staff room."

Once you find some water, you look around the staff room. It's like any other, really, a notice board for staff development meetings. There is a large calendar with staff birthdays, too. It makes you feel nostalgic when you worked in big companies and could interact with other people. Checking your watch, you have only been here 15 minutes, Cole said it wouldn't be much longer than that. Making your way towards 'Hope World', you spot a wall mounted post box. 'Fuck it' you borrow a pen and a post it. Scribble a message, " Tu me manqué avec mon Coeur " folding it in half and pressing your lips to it. In a small voice you say, "I have to let you go, I never hated you, not really, please be happy!" when you turn back to return to Nicole, she's already waiting for you, her arms outstretched and waiting to give you a hug.

The rest of your mates day can now continue.

There's some drinks and bad singing at a karaoke room. Feeling full of laughter and joy, you guys head to a restaurant. The food is delicious and served with love by the chef. Pouring some soju into your glass, "I'm proud of you Huni, you have over come so much in the last two years, between Dick head, lets call it new year, covid and little Raun, even today I know that wasn't easy, but Huni you did it." You down the drink. "yeah, I fucking did it. I need to look to my future and he, unfortunately for me, wont be in it. Its really hard to say that out loud, and I don't want it to be that way but that's the cards I have been dealt." both of you have had a few drinks by now and truths are flowing. "Huni, you could still be with him! you haven't told me everything that went down at new year. By keeping me from some of the truths it reinforces my thinking that you love him and want me to think the best of him. But he told me everything last year. After the A.M.A's." Nicole looks off, remembering the conversation.