COLLIDE [PARK SUNGHOON]

22.

Dahlia

And just like that, the day my father called was the last day I heard from Sunghoon. This whole weekend, I haven't heard a single thing. I was 'held hostage' by my parents, but while we were actually having a bit of fun, if you can call it that, an incoming business call rang through the house. At least we had agreed that I could keep skating after they had seen my biology result. So fortunately, I had time to spend this Sunday evening with Ye-Jun.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad it's a Monday morning. I pack my last things like lunch and a bottle of water and then get out of my house where my parents are still sleeping and walk towards the familiar greyish building. 

Along the way, I pass my roller skating rink that I visited recently and a few minutes later the ice skating rink I am meant to visit today. I don't know what went down after school last Friday, but it must have had a big impact on Sunghoon. I just hope he's all right.

Entering the school, I see that none of my friends have arrived yet, so I just stroll over to the troublemakers because it's something I'm used to now. 

We have become closer and I think fully friends now. The stereotypes people have about them aren't even true. Okay, maybe they often break the rules and copy homework or flirt a lot, but it's not that bad, it's more amusing and they actually know when to be serious.

"Hey guys, how was your weekend?" I ask in a soft voice as I join the group, but their earlier hushed whispers die down and I'm confused as to why they're all a bit tense. Sunghoon startles a little as they all swivel their heads away. 

Why do I feel like a burden lately? A burden to Sunghoon, maybe even to his coach, a burden to my parents and now even a burden to my friends? It makes me feel really bad and I don't think I deserve it, as all I did was ask a simple, caring question.

Jungwon clears his throat and then starts leaning against the lockers, but he slips off and then quickly regains his composure. "Uh..." Scratching the back of his head, he gestures to Jay to say something. "Uh... we went paddling! Yeah, super popular these days." 

Jungwon gives him a big shove and I frown for a moment at the whole interaction. They are lying. I don't know what they were talking about before I got here, but it stings that they are acting differently than usual. Tilting my head to the side, I run my gaze over their faces and a little longer over Sunghoon's, but he seems to avoid any eye contact.

Swallowing away the uneasy feeling, I slowly mutter an excuse and back away to find Eun-Ji and Chae-Won.

I don't get what's happening. It seems like everyone knows something except me.

As if my day couldn't get any worse, I bump into Mi-Yeon. "Watch out! You fool" she scoffs and her followers laugh at me and I feel disgusted and annoyed.

"Shut up Mi-Yeon" I mumble and walk harshly past her, causing her to stumble after I look back one last time to catch Sunghoon's eyes. Mi-Yeon's call for my name fades as soon as I reach the corridors. I look for my best friends, but they are nowhere to be seen. When I need them most, they seem to have disappeared.

Eventually the bell rings and I walk to the classroom, take a seat in the back corner and plop down on my chair. I want to go- no, I don't want to go home-  I just want to leave. This day is already starting badly.

The sliding of a chair next to me makes me look up from my previous position as my head lay on my arm. "Sorry..." It's a faint whisper, but I can still hear his words echoing through my brain. I don't know what exactly he's sorry for. He has ignored me all weekend and even this morning. I scoff a little and put my head back on my arm, hiding my face, feeling very conflicted by his mood swings.

Lost in my thoughts, I no longer hear him so I heave a heavy sigh, which gets stuck in my throat when I feel a sudden touch. His hand softly strokes my head, weaving his fingers through my loose hair before he gives me a nudge on my shoulder and I visibly tense, this time I peer up only slightly. He tilts his head and bites his lip before finally saying what he has to say. 

"I can't make it to training tonight, I'm sorry."

He turns his head back to his books and I'm a little taken aback. Why did he touch my hair so lovingly then act so cold and monotone, as if he doesn't know me anymore. At this point, he avoids everything with me. Is this the end of our friendship, our bond? Why is he behaving like this?

I slump down in my chair and even the subtle kicks of Jake's foot on my chair don't make me turn around. I don't know what's wrong with them or whether it's down to me, but it has to stop.

Sunghoon

I feel bad, really bad. I explained the skating situation to the boys this morning. Just as my Dahlia arrived, we stopped talking, which she noticed the tense atmosphere. My friends were obviously unsure of how to act. After noticing our distant behaviour, she muttered a silly excuse and left a few seconds later. On our way to Korean class, we felt really shitty. She didn't deserve that and we all knew it.

The guilt creeps in deeper, leaving marks and scars in my brain and body, it's inflicted and engraved. A pure reminder that I haven't told her about the situation yet. And here I am, acting like an idiot, making her feel even worse. Just tell her. But I don't want to hurt her.

Besides, today is also my first training with Areum, which is why I just cancelled with Dahlia. I can't drop the bomb to her today. I'll only make her day worse than it already is. I don't want to lose her in the slightest, but I know I have to tell her soon, otherwise my chances of keeping her happy will diminish.

Sighing, I get up when class is over and with little to no motivation I pick up my backpack.

"Dude, I actually feel really bad" Heeseung comes over to me with a hand covering his chest and the rest of the boys also come over with guilty expressions. Ni-ki nods slowly and then swings his backpack over his shoulder. "I don't know what you're up to, why don't you just tell her? I think she'll understand." 

Our skating journey is very special to me, it made us what we are today and she has done so much for me. I'd be incredibly rude to just announce it to her and dismiss it as if it's no big deal. She enjoyed skating with me, she was at peace with me and I don't want our journey to end. I won't just give up on her. I will find a solution. I'm afraid that if we stop skating, I will lose her as a friend, as my girl.

I grumble and then pass a hand over my face. "I don't know what to do..."

Jay shakes his head and then clears his throat. "You had no choice. Just tell her. The sooner she knows, the better. I think she'll understand. It's not like you chose not to figure skate with her anymore. What if she hears it from someone else? Then she will be upset." 

He has a good point, but we have worked so long for this. It's only two weeks until the competition, she has been so excited about it that her hard work would finally pay off, but no her excitement had to be crushed at the last minute.

Slowly nodding, I think I will tell her tomorrow, for now I can prepare what to say.

A/N:

Hey, hey! The next chapter will be le moment suprême, the next will be a bit silly but cute and after that, you are not readyyy. Watch out for chapter 27 ;)

Have good day/ night x

Don't forget to vote or comment <3

-C