COLLIDE [PARK SUNGHOON]

31.

I curse internally once the Parks have left, because I didn't get to confess my love properly. Why does my mother always have to ruin everything for me? Apart from that disastrous confession, dinner went smoothly, but a slight discomfort lingered between Sunghoon and me because we had clearly left things unfinished once again.

"Well, what a lovely family, don't you think?" My mother states with a satisfied sigh after closing the front door. My dad agrees, having enjoyed dinner much more than expected.

"Have you heard? Sunghoon's a figure skater Dahlia. You two have a lot in common." He mumbles and I have to stretch a forced smile. "Ha, yeah. He's-uh really nice." If only he knew everything.

They both sigh and check the time, realising it's already very late. When they both want to leave, my mother jumps up, a thought having clearly struck her. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, but his mother has invited us to his competition next week. I think it'd be nice if we all went." My father nods with a shrug and I feel my heart shatter, shrinking little by little. They never came to watch me.

"A-are you serious?" I mutter and they both look up puzzled, eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean Dahlia? We can't turn down their offer." She says firmly, the words rolling off her tongue like the pre-made promise already engraved in her brain. She crosses her arms, not understanding why I could possibly be upset. And this is why, I can never forgive them. When I'm close to opening up, they say or do something that makes me wonder why I wanted them to be proud of me in the first place.

Thoughts gnaw at my head, biting at that one specific memory. That day is also the competition I was supposed to participate in. Two stinging reminders not to go. I try to conceal my hurt by smiling softly and nodding along. "Right..." As I back away to go to my room, I hear their sighs and my father's faint grumbling. "What's wrong with her..."

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

The first holiday; Christmas went by in a blur, something I would rather have spent alone, but would that be selfish of me? There are children who have no family, but what is a child with a family but no love? A young soul surrounded by strangers?

Sighing and wrapping my coat around me, it's now time for New Year's Eve. Our small group of friends who have coalesced over time asked to celebrate together and surprisingly, everyone was free, even Sunghoon now with his busy training schedule.

Walking along the shore of the beach, in the dark of the night, underneath the light of the stars surrounding the moon, we shiver, but not even the cold or the stinging wind can ruin this moment. 

Jungwon and Ni-ki are stuck in a wrestling match. They've made a circle in the sand and the first one to step over the line loses. It's a funny, but endearing sight.

Averting my gaze to the side, I see Jake chasing a giggling Chae-Won, while Eun-Ji is wrapped in Heeseung's embrace. My smile widens a little more at those two. Who knew Heeseung would fall head over heels for her? Who knew Eun-Ji would give him a second chance?

Meanwhile, Jay and Sunghoon are walking in front of me, talking in hushed whispers while Jay had the idea of teaching Sunghoon English. He wanted to learn English the moment I said I had a British relative. I remember it quite well. "I must be able to express my love in all languages so that each of your family members can understand how much I really love you." 

I thought it was a cute and thoughtful gesture, but I don't think I will be introducing him to my whole family as 'something more' anytime soon, not yet anyway. I want to cherish the moments we have until we are both ready to tell our own families.

Every time I hear a different pronunciation, I have to suppress my giggles, but I support him nonetheless. He's doing a great job and I couldn't admire him more as a person, he's so determined, something I look up to.