Chapter 41

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The next day of lessons started with Lily being called to the front to receive a new class marker in Life Principles. It was her only remaining general education class she still had. She wondered why this couldn't have been done the day before in her Energy Control class which was much smaller with only a select few students as compared with the general class with close to 150 peers there to gawk. 

And yet.. she knew it was done intentionally. For the other's information more than her own. 

'Are they my peers anymore?' thought Lily to herself as she made her way back to her seat. She bundled the material of the new market in her hands and yet... there was no hiding it. She couldn't hide who she was. Who she'd become. Who she had to become.

Accepting this, she slipped the black material around her waist. She couldn't feel bothered by the curious lingering stares of her classmates. The longing in some of their eyes. How they'd desire to be Lycan also... without them knowing the true challenges that came with it.

She nearly laughed thinking about her old red marker. How she's detested it. She hated how it seemed to single her out without her even knowing why. 

She looked at her seat as she approached it. She couldn't be sure why but... she couldn't bring herself to stop. She could feel on some instinctual level that this was not where she was supposed to be.

She wasn't meant to spend these two hours sitting among the gawking glances of the other students. She was meant to be free. And if she couldn't be that, then she needed to be out practicing what she needed to be understanding. Something she wouldn't be able to learn from a general Life Principles class.

Nothing was said as she opened the door. There was nothing to say really. After feeling as she had the night before. Being in the moment... feeling alive and powerful, she couldn't deny who she was. She couldn't huddle behind apologetic self-doubt and denial. And doing those things would only waste time. Time that she didn't have.

She paused in her thinking as she walked down the corridor. Her rhythmic footfalls echoed off the stone flooring and seemed to echo her feelings from the night before.  

Each step seemed ..meaningful somehow. Not just to get to.. wherever her body was taking her, but meaningful in themselves. And she understood that this was the root of the magic. The root of shapeshifting even.

She recognized now that going without this in her old pack. Being in an abusive survival situation was the cause of her failure to shift. Her fear even of not shifting may have delayed her abilities... 

And in this way.. she wasn't special. Not really. This happened only because she had some unusual genetic anomaly. That was all.

'Is it?' said the voice of her mind.

What is special really.. "If I am special," Lily thought, opening the doors to the fourth-floor courtyard. 'If I am special, let it be because of my choices and actions. Let it be for my decision to be who I need to be so that I can fight for my freedom and the freedom of those I love.'


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