Love To Hate You

All her fault

Brandon

Unbelievable, I try to show up before her, and it's like God is taunting me. Any other day, I would take the bait, but not today. I'm raw with emotion and afraid of what I'll do. Listening to her spiel is a whole other kind of torture. Ha, she feels inadequate, that's rich. Her ivory dress sways in the wind, disrupting the little cherry pattern until they blur in my vision. Obviously she's not that heartbroken. She looks healthy and obviously spent a lot of time on her appearance, her hair is curly, and her lips are painted a vibrant red. With her honey skin and soft curves, she looks appealing, really appealing. Too bad I know the materialistic heartless bitch that lurks underneath. I watch her walk away without a care in the world. Her tears are pointless its all a show.

I miss him; he was more than just my brother. He was my best friend, wingman, and my only family left. There's no one to keep me in check anymore and no reason to care. Jeremy has always been the better brother. Our parents favored him, can't say I blame them. I couldn't make it in college and when our parents plane crashed on their flight to Aruba. Jeremy became dedicated to work. I didn't take it so well. After squandering our family's inheritance, I developed a drinking problem. The only ambitions I had was finding the bottom of a bottle. Jeremy made a career. He was good at what he did. I always said he could sell ice to an Eskimo.

Fingering the tattered sea traps hat, I recall the day he bought it. We had front row seats and dad was going on about some work related jargon. Mom was eyeing up the players, and Jeremy was gazing at some redhead on the bleachers above us. He was thirteen at the time and just starting to like girls. I was eight and thought he was gross. The opposing team ran a home run, and I cursed loud enough for none other than Josh marker to hear me. He found this hilarious, dad, not so much. Josh came over and placed his hat on my head then told me; 'hang in son, we're going to make em eat our dust.' And they did. Problem was, the redhead got all excited when he gave me his hat. This seemed to really bum Jeremy out. So I gave him the hat. He wore that thing every day, said it was lucky. That made me feel special cause he was my hero, like most big brothers are. I pick up the hat and hold it to my nose. It smells like her; wild roses after a fresh rain. I tuck it in my back pocket and head home.

The place is a mess. I haven't cleaned in weeks. My efforts are pointless. I've done nothing but drink and fuck since the funeral. I've run out of women in this town and my liver can't take much more. Man, I've got to get out of here. The plan was to take a road trip to the mountains, but the old fords been acting up and I can't drink while driving. On the other hand, I hate planes. The only thing left sounds pretty good right about now. Beautiful women, plenty of booze and nothing but sea. I'm going on a cruise.