The Color Of You

Chapter 5

First and foremost, I'd like to begin with some warnings about this chapter, as it may be distressing to some readers due to the following elements it contains:

- Angst
- A difficult and emotionally charged first-time experience (Heterosexual F/M). While it's not explicitly graphic, it will delve into the emotional aspects of the encounter. Please note that there won't be further F/M content after this chapter.

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Your evenings at Natasha and Wanda's house had become a regular routine, and each night you couldn't help but chastise yourself for your inability to stay away. The guilt gnawed at you as you consistently made excuses to slip away from Yelena, hoping to capture Natasha and Wanda's attention. Some evenings were less challenging, particularly when Yelena was on the phone with Dave. However, your obsession with Natasha and Wanda started to feel like a disease, spreading through your veins and corrupting your mind with unfamiliar feelings. These feelings made your hands tremble and your heart race, awakening your body in both a terrifying and exhilarating way. You were reluctant to admit to yourself that you were becoming addicted to these new feelings.

But each night, shame settled heavily in your stomach. On the nights Kate wasn't there, frustration led you to scream into your pillow as your mind was flooded with thoughts of Natasha and Wanda. Shame made your skin crawl and you couldn't help but squirm in bed. Even in the darkness of the night you couldn't bring yourself to admit even to yourself what you were feeling for them.

Regardless of your efforts, you knew it was only a matter of time before you needed to confront it. You truly should feel ashamed as you found yourself once again sneaking off to see what Natasha and Wanda were up to when Yelena answered her phone.

You found them snuggled up on the couch, and they welcomed you warmly to join them. It was hard as you made an effort to focus on the movie, but your eyes kept drifting towards the two enchanting women. Your heart raced as you witnessed the tender moment when Natasha reached her arm over Wanda's shoulders, her graceful fingers absently caressing the top of Wanda's arm. In that instance, you yearned to be in Wanda's place, nestled between them, feeling their comforting arms around you, and those alluring red manicured nails delicately grazing your skin.

You were treading a fine line when it came to what was socially acceptable. There were times when Yelena would come looking for you, only to discover you engaged in conversations with Wanda in the kitchen or sitting with Natasha on the couch. While Yelena never openly commented on it, you knew her well enough to sense that she was becoming increasingly aware of your frequent disappearances, and you dreaded to think of what she might say.

You found yourself grappling with the question of whether Yelena was harboring jealousy or genuine concern for your behavior lately as she began pushing for a double date. While your involvement with James was far from an official relationship, you had been on six dates with him by now and you knew that there was things expected of you if you decided to continue seeing him. You grappled with the guilt of unintentionally leading him on, even though you desperately wished you were attracted to him.

Yet, your primary concern wasn't about hurting James' feelings, it was more about the possibility of Yelena growing suspicious and finding out why you had kept sneaking off to spend time with Natasha and Wanda. The fear of Yelena discovering your growing obsession and potentially demanding answers when you couldn't even answer them yourself outweighed any shame or guilt you should have felt towards James at this stage. The mix of emotions and confusion you experienced had become both draining and shamefully exhilarating. So, in a desperate bid to put a stop to your unnatural obsession with Yelena's sister and her wife, you reluctantly agreed to the double date, desperately hoping that your interest would shift to James.