Our Nerdy Brother [Brotherly ff]

11

I woke up with a massive headache and a throbbing throat. It was due to crying from yesterday and talking about that, *sighs* well the things aren't going to be same. I know my brothers are going to extra careful and not let me cut. I am having the urges thinking about it. Scratching my arms I got up and sprunged to the washroom, making sure to lock it.

The first thing I did was see my terrible self in the mirror. Red puffy eyes and nose. I looked like a joker.

Do it already.

My conscious self told me as I did.

The razor blade was dragged through my pale skin. After sometime beads of blood flowed. It wasn't deep. Never had the guts to go and finish it off and my Hyungs getting to know it , makes it worse.

I go on making a 30 more before keeping it back. They'll make me stop but I will find a way.

Good job. You thinking great my boy.

I smiled and walked out to see Taehyung sitting on my bed with his eyes closed.
I bothered the poor guy. Tsk.

"Oh you he-re? What took you too lon-g?" I hated he was suspecting me of doing something.

"Oh i-was just-"
I was cut off with his heavy sigh.

"Lets go down.Me and Jungkook would like to talk to you"
My chest tightend but nodded eventually.

Following him, I saw Jungkook Hyung sitting on the couch with his phone. He looked disturbed.

Its because of you, obviously.

Yeah. 

He made me sit and silence took over for some time before Jungkook Hyung spoke.

"Lets not make it complicated and keep it short" his voice was a bit low. I know what was coming.

"You know you need to stop, right? I mean it's unhealthy for you. We want to see you all bubbly and a happy teenager and for that we will work out asses. Please try ok? I mean I know it-s no-t easy bu-t please. It-hurts" Tae hyung's voice broke at the end making me think I was responsible.

You are responsible without a doubt, douchebag.

The thought made my cuts sting.
"And we gotta to ask you this. You either be going to a therapist or keep up with our rules"

I would rather die than sharing it with an unknown person. Both the options were ridiculous to me but.... I had to choose.

"Ru-les" I muttered the first word in a hoarse voice.

"Fine. They are as easy if you try.

1. No locking your door, until we trust you again.

2. You can't go to the washroom more than 5 mins and for shower, under our supervision. We are brothers, you don't need to be shy. It for your better.

3. No going near sharp objects even if it's a stapler pin or a needle.

4. If you had the urges, come to us even if it's 3 in the morning or if you are at the end of the world, we will be there as promised and stay away from sharp objects when you have them.

5. Your room is going to have some changes like no medicine would be kept. No first aid box or anything you could harm yourself self and you will be having a transparent door for your room, same for the bathroom.

Yeah-that-s it"
He finished. They were all not sensible to me. All of these were making me think of cutting more than usual.

A sigh is all I could do. I know I am worrying them. It makes me feel like a dipshit.

"First you'll go and eat something and then hand me your blades" Tae hyung said with a soft tone. Jungkook Hyung was looking anywhere but me. He hated me I know.

Eating wasn't the best option now.
I managed to eat a pancake and orange juice.
And the next part was the hardest to me. I had to sacrifice my loveable things. Not ready definitely.

A sniffle left my mouth as I handed my blades to Tae hyung but kept one stuck under the sink just in case. I knew it was needed.

"Are there any more?" Jungkook Hyung asked looking right into my eyes detecting in any lie.

I manage to make them buy my lie. My door was wide opened till I don't have the transparent door. It was wrong.

I sobbed on my pillow. Everything is going wrong. Nothing seems to work.

Its because of youu!

I know it. I fucking KNOW IT IS MEE.

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And my exams were ok. I had my last exam yesterday and it was Algebra and easy peasy for me. All the others except Geometry and Algebra were ok but these two were AWESOME!!!!

I am happy!~ :))

Bye bye
Stay safe and healthy!

Note: I have reread it cuz me very lazy ;) If there are any error just tell me.