Diary of A Teenage Nerd (A Liam Payne Fan Fiction) UNDER SERIOUS EDITING

It's Too Late to Apologize

Raines' POV

   My eyes continued to stay as wide and my mouth was open. At fourteen? Raped and pregnant at fourteen?

"Are you ok?" I asked her, knowing it was a stupid question, but I needed to ask anyway.

"Yeah I guess, but I'm more upset about losing my child then anything. And I got bullied...no one knew that I was raped. So everyone called me a slut, an attention whore, and kept saying that I slept around and gave guys an STD," She mumbled as a tear slipped out of her eye. She looked at the other wall, unable to manage keeping eye contact. I grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I don't know what being raped is like, but I've been called and told all of those things. And you know sometimes people are just jerks, with no lives and nothing better to do. And they sometimes call us those things because they don't understand, they don't know how hurt we actually are. And they won't ever understand either." I was crying at this point too. I felt so bad for her. She was so young and had to go through all of this stuff. I knew she didn't deserve it.

"I know I have anger issues, but what did I do to deserve this? I don't even know half of those people. And they don't know me. They don't even give me a chance to get to know them. They just go around...and think that they can judge me. They go around and think they know me, but they don't. They don't know the pain I go through every night because of what they say. They don't know that I cut myself because of what they say. They don't know anything, but yet they think they can judge me, and talk about me." Tears spilt slowly over her eyes as she looked at me. I literally felt my heart breaking in my chest, and it hurt so bad.

  I smiled at her knowingly,  because I know how she feels. I feel the same way.

"Because of what the people called me, I've been raised being called those things. So soon enough I came around to believe them. I believed them when they called me fat and ugly, so I started cutting myself, thinking I would never be good enough for anyone."

"You seem so perfect though. You're so skinny, you're gorgeous, and you don't even need makeup. I can tell you aren't wearing any right now because you just don't need it. You're hair is so long and pretty, your eye color is absolutely stunning. Everything about you is pretty. I don't understand why people would treat you like that."

"That goes for you too. You're gorgeous, and no one deserves to be bullied. Not anyone. It hurts, and the pain becomes over whelming sometimes and we can't handle it." I sighed as another tear fell out of my eye. "But you know what? It's gonna be ok. I don't know when,  and I sure as hell don't know how. But it will. I can promise you that. Alright?" She nodded, tears still in her eyes.

"You know, Katie they say the strongest people in life are the ones who have tears in their eyes but still manage to say 'I'm fine.' It's cliché really. But it's also true. So just stay strong. And everything will be ok at some point." She nodded. "Now let's finish coloring before they think we're obsessing over some Nicholas Sparks book." I saw her laughing and looked at her through my eyelashes and she laughed.

"Thanks for that, Raines. Really. I needed it." I smiled up at her again.

"My pleasure," I said truthfully. I liked to help people in anyway possible.

  I picked up a pencil and scribbled my name on the top of the paper. I pushed it to the center of the table and pulled my knees to my chest, my eyes not leaving the paper. I'm a terrible artist so it looked terrible, as did all of my drawings I had to do.

"Bloodshot eyes and pink face...are you sure you aren't high?" Katie asked, looking up from her paper long enough to take a look at mine.

"Don't judge! I am a terrible artist. It runs in the family," I said confidently, crossing my arms over my chest.