When It Rains In Ocala

35- Remember Me

“I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true”
-Winnie-the-Pooh

“Is there a Maggie Mathews here?” The doctor asked.

I don’t remember standing up, but I think I did, because Brendon’s arm was gone and so was Sam’s hand. I wasn’t crying or screaming, but Laura was. I could hear her crying and I could hear Hanna comforting Jason and I could hear everything around me, but I made no sound.

“He’s still awake, you have a few minutes to say goodbye.” The doctor told me, leading me down the hallway.

I don’t remember walking either, my whole body was just numb and I don’t think I’d processed what he told me. I don’t think any of it was registering at all.

But after a little while of floating down the hallway behind the doctor, he led me into a room where I saw Evan sitting up in one of the hospital beds.

I ran over to him and automatically wrapped my arms around him. “Evan.” I gasped, knowing that this was probably the last time that I’d ever see him. This is the last time that I’d ever see those magic green eyes that made me fly or feel his arms around me that made me melt. It was the last time that I would ever have my forever. 

“Baby, it’ll be okay.” He assured me, hugging me close to him. “It’ll all be okay.”

I pulled away with tears in my eyes as I looked at him. He looked like normal Evan, only a little paler, and inside of his eyes held his fear. He had a good poker face, but I knew. I could see how scared he really was.

“Evan, I need you.” I choked, not letting myself cry. I didn’t want to cry right now, not in front of him. I didn’t want to waste this precious time with tears blurring the memory.

“No, baby. You don’t.” He whispered. “You’re going to do just fine without me. More than fine, really, you’re going to do amazing things, I know it. You’re special, Maggie, you’re so damn special. You don’t need me to shine.”

I nodded vigorously. “Yes I do.” I mumbled. “I do need you. I can’t get over you, I just can’t, it isn’t natural. You belong to me. I belong to you. That’s just how it’s supposed to be.”

“I will always be yours.” He said quietly, his voice was breathy and raspy. He sounded tired, like he wanted to go to sleep, but he was fighting it. “And I’ll always be with you. I’ll be in the stars, and I’ll be looking over you. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise you, Maggie. I’ll never leave you.”

“I’ll always be yours, too.” I told him truthfully.

“I want you to find somebody else.” He croaked. “As much as I want to be the one you spend your life with, I want you to be happy. You should go find somebody you treats you like you deserve to be treated and don’t you settle for anything less.”

“But I can’t. You are unrepeatable. There is just a magic about you that nobody can recreate.” I told him, gripping onto his hand with all of my weak strength. There was a bloody bandage covering his chest where the surgery was performed and he was hooked up to a bunch of monitors. As we spoke, as I fought back tears, I could hear the beep of his heart.

Beep… beep… beep…

“You’ll find somebody someday, Maggie. It might take some time, but you can do it. You’re such a strong girl.”

“Aren’t you scared?” I whispered.

“Terrified.” He admitted.

“Me too.” I agreed.